Anyone Still Out There?

I love being funny. I love making people laugh. I love to blog about happy, funny, sarcastic things and I haven't really been in that mood for a while. Good, funny, sarcastic things have happened.

Like when Billy and I went to Utah over Thanksgiving with our good friends, Cat and Zach, and went skiing. Or on Christmas when my FIL got all the girls the gaudiest gold earrings you've ever seen and my SIL managed to make a copy of the receipt so we could take them back. Or when my Mom got me frilly pink new born sandals, a huge night shirt that said 'sexy lingerie' and shot glasses, which she claims are for juicing. I feel like there are some mixed messages here.The rock'n new years eve party, or the fun surprise party for Cat or going to DC and seeing the Smithsonian.

I think I just got overwhelmed. Billy got a job transfer to Dallas so we're trying to sell our house. I hate to leave College Station and all the great friends I've made, but I'm shallow enough to admit that I go where the money goes. It's been stressful making sure the house is always clean and I don't know if it's just me, but I get a little offended when people come see the house and then don't like it. Stupid, but true.

I haven't been able to get pregnant so I went to my OB in December and after 2 wicked painful biopsies found out I have an infection in my uterus. I've tried a few medications, but so far nothings worked. I go in again this week for a different treatment.

I've been gaining weight like I'm pregnant though, which is super awesome since I'm a personal trainer.

I finally went and saw a therapist. Not a typical therapist. A craniosacral therapist, but I didn't actually go because of all this. I was having some knee and shoulder pain and I was referred to a women in my ward that is a physical therapist and a craniosacral therapist as well. I can be pretty opened minded when I want to be so I thought I'd give it a try. It was like nothing I've experienced before. It was crazy and traumatic and the coolest thing ever. The basics are that emotional trauma cause physical problems and by releasing the restrictions in the craniosacral system you let go of, or deal with, the emotional trauma that caused it. Freaky. I know!

She not just threw me in the deep end but pushed me under and held me there. I talked about things with her that I didn't think I'd tell anyone. If I had gone to a normal therapist it would have taken months, maybe years, to get me to offer that stuff up. But I wanted to...well maybe not wanted. OK I told her there was no way I was saying it out loud...at first. But I felt compelled to and I knew in my bones that if I talked about it I would feel better. As I was on the table crying like a little girl who just watched there dog get run over I was able to finally deal with stuff from my childhood that I thought I had dealt with, but obviously hadn't. I put things together that I don't think I ever would have. She asked me questions and it all kind of fell into place...finally after all this time. The physical pain went away in just 1 session.

I've been back 2 more times and I feel on top of the world. I woke up the other day smiling...just because I got up and I HATE getting up. I'm that person that comes up swinging. A few of my friends have been laughing at me cause I can't stop smiling. It's ridiculous.

The other day another CS therapist was telling me that it's so effective because once they feel the rhythm of the system and start asking questions if you lie, even to yourself, the rhythm doesn't change. But if your answer hits a nerve, or you talk about what's really bothering you, the rhythm changes or freaks out so the therapist knows that they're on the right track and they get down to the meat of things really quickly. So it's like therapy with a lie detector that can tell even when you're lying to yourself. It's seriously the coolest thing ever!!

I don't have everything figured out, but I feel confident and genuinely happy anyway. I've taken some big steps and have a plan in place to get past my health problems, which I might blog about in more detail. After months of feeling angry and helpless I feel amazing even though my house hasn't sold, I'm not pregnant and I'm still chunky. It's crazy what a little therapy can do.

I've debated on whether or not to blog about this, but it really has changed my life. I couldn't not share it. If there's a therapist near you GO! I promise you won't regret it.