"it's coming, it's COMING, IT'S COMING"

Lets see...what have I been up to since January? I've started and finished massage school. It was a crazy 5 months with even crazier people. I know most of you are going to be surprised, but apparently getting naked and rubbed attracts weirdos. Both students and clients. I was shocked too.

The students ranged from the blind guy with the mean narcissistic wife who yelled at him in front of the class to the dumb as door nails girl that accidentally ate glass to the goth bisexual. It was quite the education.

The clients. I cringe just thinking about it. I've tried to block out most but the ones that are permanently burned in my mind are the 350 lb guy that got a 2 hr session and then got happy and spent the next 90 mins talking about it. There was the midget and the large woman who flashed me twice and not just the top half :( The talker who told me he cheated on his wife and the kid who had the worst odor I've ever had the pleasure of being stuck in a 6x6 room with. And my personal favorite, the groaner who said and I quote "it's coming, it's COMING, IT'S COMING" in reference to his muscle releasing. Not that muscle, but I did check hoping for an excuse to end the session. No such luck.

Between traumas I did have some good times. I met a few people that are almost normal ;) They made the whole thing bearable and kept me laughing.

One of them volunteered me to go back to the school with her today and pair up with a student to evaluate their skills. We got there last and I got stuck with the creepy guy. The goth bisexual is still there and he ended up being my partner. I'll call him Gio and he kind of looks like this.

He's actually a very polite kid, but it's so over the top it's uncomfortable. He's that person that hugs you and won't let go and you have to tap him a few times. It gives me creepy chills to say this but his massage is very intimate. It's soft and light and he's almost caressing you instead of massaging. Due to his lack of boundaries his draping is pretty minimal so one of my cheeks is hanging completely out and he's feeling me up and making sure to get all around the edges :( I'm debating what to say to him in this massive room with 16 people in it that won't completely embarrass him but that will get him to cover up my pooper, when he leans down and whispers in my ear "is this tender?" Let me explain why this is so much worse than you think.

1. His hand has gone from caressing my butt to gently cupping it while he talks because we were taught to not lose contact with the client. Dumbest rule ever.
2. His breathe was hot and smelly and right in my ear.
3. He whispered because we were taught to use spa voices so we don't ruin the relaxing atmosphere, but it came out more husky and sexual than relaxing.
4. Is this tender? Really. That was what came to his mind while his hand is you know where.
5. No, it wasn't tender.

It didn't ever get better and I left feeling violated and oily, and not in a good way. I'm just grateful I don't have to go back there. I've got my license and I'm working out of my house. I've taken my first CranioSacral class and I'm doing my internship. Life is getting better and better!

Call me to make an appointment and I promise I won't cup your pooper.