I'm Probably Lying

"it's coming, it's COMING, IT'S COMING"

2010-08-11T14:00:00.013-05:00

Lets see...what have I been up to since January? I've started and finished massage school. It was a crazy 5 months with even crazier people. I know most of you are going to be surprised, but apparently getting naked and rubbed attracts weirdos. Both students and clients. I was shocked too.

The students ranged from the blind guy with the mean narcissistic wife who yelled at him in front of the class to the dumb as door nails girl that accidentally ate glass to the goth bisexual. It was quite the education.

The clients. I cringe just thinking about it. I've tried to block out most but the ones that are permanently burned in my mind are the 350 lb guy that got a 2 hr session and then got happy and spent the next 90 mins talking about it. There was the midget and the large woman who flashed me twice and not just the top half :( The talker who told me he cheated on his wife and the kid who had the worst odor I've ever had the pleasure of being stuck in a 6x6 room with. And my personal favorite, the groaner who said and I quote "it's coming, it's COMING, IT'S COMING" in reference to his muscle releasing. Not that muscle, but I did check hoping for an excuse to end the session. No such luck.

Between traumas I did have some good times. I met a few people that are almost normal ;) They made the whole thing bearable and kept me laughing.

One of them volunteered me to go back to the school with her today and pair up with a student to evaluate their skills. We got there last and I got stuck with the creepy guy. The goth bisexual is still there and he ended up being my partner. I'll call him Gio and he kind of looks like this.

He's actually a very polite kid, but it's so over the top it's uncomfortable. He's that person that hugs you and won't let go and you have to tap him a few times. It gives me creepy chills to say this but his massage is very intimate. It's soft and light and he's almost caressing you instead of massaging. Due to his lack of boundaries his draping is pretty minimal so one of my cheeks is hanging completely out and he's feeling me up and making sure to get all around the edges :( I'm debating what to say to him in this massive room with 16 people in it that won't completely embarrass him but that will get him to cover up my pooper, when he leans down and whispers in my ear "is this tender?" Let me explain why this is so much worse than you think.

His hand has gone from caressing my butt to gently cupping it while he talks because we were taught to not lose contact with the client. Dumbest rule ever.
His breathe was hot and smelly and right in my ear.
He whispered because we were taught to use spa voices so we don't ruin the relaxing atmosphere, but it came out more husky and sexual than relaxing.
Is this tender? Really. That was what came to his mind while his hand is you know where.
No, it wasn't tender.

It didn't ever get better and I left feeling violated and oily, and not in a good way. I'm just grateful I don't have to go back there. I've got my license and I'm working out of my house. I've taken my first CranioSacral class and I'm doing my internship. Life is getting better and better!

Call me to make an appointment and I promise I won't cup your pooper.

A Whole New World

2010-01-22T11:33:00.008-06:00

I haven't posted about all the testing I've been doing because I'm not sure how much I really want to put out there. You never know how it's going to be taken and it's been a very personal process. Having said that, I know other people can benefit from it so I'll share some of what I've learned.

I've had trouble getting pregnant and in my search for answers I've met wonderful people and been introduced to a whole new world of health care.

I've talked about CranioSacral Therapy and how much that's changed my life. So much that I have decided to become one. I have to get a massage license so I can legally touch people, there's a joke in there somewhere but I'm going to let it pass, and then take the CranioSacral classes. I'm hoping to be done and have my own business by 2011.

During my initial testing I was getting abnormal results, but with no specific diagnosis. My first OB wanted to use a type of acid to burn off the top few layers of my uterus and see if the abnormal cells grew back. Oh, but there might be scarring which could cause irreparable damage. The doc didn't understand why I didn't want to go through with it. I told her I wanted to look into natural options first, but I'd get back to her if I wanted to burn my skin off. I later requested my records and she wrote down that I requested "natural" alternatives. You could read the disbelief in her quotations.

The next OB wanted to put me on prednisone to "see if that works." Can you read the disbelief in MY quotations? The list of side effects for prednisone is so long they end it with "and etc."

At a loss, I decided to look outside "traditional medicine." I'm taking the quotations too far aren't I? I'll stop. I was referred to the Tennant Institute for Integrative Medicine. They integrate different forms of therapy. For example, acupuncture, homeopathy, essential oils, chakras, craniosacral and TKM to name a few.

Dr. Jerry Tennant has an amazing story of triumph. He was one of the worlds leading eye surgeons when he contracted a life threatening virus in his brain from his work. He was unable to read or write, except for a few hours a day, and all the doctors told him there was nothing that could be done. He started researching how to heal individual cells and was able to heal himself through his findings. He has dedicated the last several years to educating and healing others. When I hear about people who drastically change their lives because they've triumphed over a trial I can't help but want to know more.

Dr. Tennants philosophy, according to my treatment, is detox, nutrition, supplementation and energy therapy. You have to help your body get rid of the toxins, put in only healthy raw food, take vitamins to supplement what you aren't getting from food and then increase the energy to your cells.

The science behind energy therapy in my layman terms is that your organs run at a certain frequency and when that frequency drops, due to toxins and/or poor nutrition, it leads to disease and illness. For example, it's a fact that the brain runs at 78 megahertz, but if your cells aren't getting what they need, then your frequency drops and issues arise to alert you to the problem. If you increase the frequency to the cells then they can start to heal themselves.

They have several avenues for energy therapy. The option I chose was TKM (The King Method, after the man who founded it). I can't explain TKM as well as the King Institute so I copied an explanation in case you're interested.

TKM® is the use of basic physiological physics to help restore the correct circulation or conductivity of the electrical system in the body. ATKM® professional places both hands lightly on two different and precise locations on the body (over clothing). The positive polarity of the right palm and fingers and the negative polarity of the left palm and fingers stimulate the body's energy to move (in the same manner electricity is stimulated to move), traveling along established pathways from the location of one hand to the other. Then it circulates onward through the pathways that return the electrical current to the other hand's location. This flow of bio electromagnetic circulation promotes better blood and lymphatic circulation, increased CNS (central nervous system) conductivity and enzyme activity, all of which are important to rejuvenate the body's systems. The touch of the person's hands on the recipient's (person receiving help) body is light, and there is no pressure or rubbing. The body responds to the treatment easily without irritation to its systems (unlike certain other Eastern modalities such as acupuncture). This gentle, natural way of stimulating the vital bio electromagnetic system circulate properly (coherence) produces no negative repercussions. In addition, the treatments are very effective in relieving tension, stress and pain.

It's been about 4 months since my first appointment and I've done large intestine, gallbladder, liver, parasite and infection cleanses. Dr. Tennant did 5 vials worth of blood tests, and due to the results I take about 10 supplements a day. I have drastically increased the amount of fruits and vegetables I eat, really tried to get rid of all the chemicals in the house from tooth paste to laundry detergent, had 6 TKM sessions and I feel great.

Except that I haven't gotten pregnant yet. I've tried not to get caught up in the craziness that comes with trying to get pregnant, but last month was hard. In my TKM sessions with Vickie, the therapist, she gets stuck at a certain point...in every session. She says it's a bugger and that the energy doesn't flow very well through that point. We've been expecting it to get better, but it hasn't. It's by my hips and we've come to the conclusion that whatever is going on is contributing to why I can't get pregnant.

I had to go to College Station last week so while I was there I had an appointment with Kim, my rock'n CranioSacral therapist. My last few appointments have been pretty calm and more physical than emotional. This one started out that way, but I was talking to Kim about what Dr.Tennant told me about my blocked energy and she had an idea of what the problem might be. It turned out she knew what she was talking about. Not that I ever doubt her. I feel like it was the last piece to the puzzle. All the work I've done over the past year and a half has been one progression after another. I look back now and I wonder how I was living like that.

I'm beyond grateful for the people I've met, things I've learned and the positive changes that have been made. I'm excited about what the future holds. I believe that the things I've been through are going to be invaluable for my own practice and the people I'm going to help and be able to relate to the way few other people can.

True Marzetta Style

2010-01-13T12:39:00.014-06:00

There have been some pretty funny things that have happened lately that I've got to post about so I don't forget.

Billy and I have been in a really good place lately. Well, when I say good, I mean feisty. This may turn out to be TMI, but at least it will be funny TMI.

Billy and I were laying down for bed, and it seems that one of is usually tired and the other isn't, but we try to always go to bed together. The other night I was ready for bed and Billy was feeling a little wired. He was expecting some good cuddling and I was only willing to give a quick kiss and maybe a cheap feel if he left me alone. He wouldn't leave me alone, so I rolled over and "gave him the butt" as he calls it. He laid there quietly for half a second and says "I swear, as soon as you fall asleep I'm going to punch you in the face." I was cracking up! Does anybody know what movie that's from?

Billy won't believe this, but pillow talk really is one of my favorite things...if I'm not too tired. The problem is we're night owls and usually go to bed around 1 so I'm usually too tired. The other night I was out of it and first in bed. Billy lays down and is draping himself all over me and I was doing my best to lay there like a dead fish so as not to encourage him. He gives up on the idea of cuddling and says "Is it so wrong that I like to be held?" Does your husband use emotional blackmail on you too? After all these years together Billy is starting to realize my methods and use them against me.

To show that I can laugh at myself and not just my husband I'll share a recent embarrassing moment.

I've had my braces on for 7 months now and I still hate them. I have a medical issue with the inside of my cheeks where they don't callous over. So even though it's been 7 months my braces still rub my cheeks raw. Due to this I tend to mumble and lets just say I don't eat out much anymore. I was reading the book Hunger Games, which I recommend, and I was at a really intense part and I didn't want to put it down so I was eating and reading. I was at the part where Katniss is creeping up on someone and she's trying to be quiet and then out of nowhere I see and feel something land on my arm and I JUMP. After I calmed down I figured it was a bug or something, but when I put my arm back on the table there was a chunk of food still there. That's right, I scared myself half to death with see-food.

Shameful.

Just the way we like it.

Halloween PARTY!

2009-11-04T10:27:00.005-06:00

Laurie was nice enough to get us invited to a Halloween Party with a bunch of her friends. They take this party pretty seriously because not only are costumes mandatory, but you have to do a skit.

I'm pretty sure I have the best husband ever because when I told him what we were thinking about doing he said "As long as I can wear a cup, I'm in." That will make more sense in a minute.

Laurie's husband was out of town so we needed a skit with 2 girls and a guy....it was harder than you're thinking. Get your mind out of the gutter. We finally came up with re-enacting the VMA Award Show with Beyonce, Taylor Swift and Kanye.

But we added a little twist. Here it is!

We did tons better in practice, but with all the stripping and laughing we got a little distracted. Billy rocked it though and stole the show. They have awards for the best costume and best performance and we won for best performance!

Hope you had as much fun as we did this Halloween.

I'm Alive!

2009-09-23T13:53:00.020-05:00

I've gotten enough phone calls and emails to light a fire under my tush to get this post done finally. You better appreciate it too because it took me forever to get all the pictures to go together and align right. Blogger needs to make the stupid window bigger. Anyway, without further ado, here it is. My New House!

This is the study. The previous owners had this awful unpainted tin in the window. I think it probably started out as a good idea, but then after they got it in and secured it 3 different ways they stopped. I was worried it was going to take the dry wall off, but I got it down undamaged.

This is the dining room. I got the painting from Paris framed and this is our new formal dining table. I feel so grown up...not that I've eaten on it. I'll probably have a table cloth a bib when I do though. It's so pretty I don't want to mess it up.

This is the living room, business center and kitchen. We had ALL the cabinets painted. The painter said the cheap material the cabinets were made of wouldn't hold a stain so we had to paint. We've had some problems with the ADD painter so he's coming back to redo them, but if you don't look to close they look OK.

I didn't get a before pic straight on of the kitchen, but here it is after. Isn't it purdy?

Here are the built-ins. We had them painted the same color as the cabinets. We decided to hang the TV because it would have been to far away in either of the built-ins. I think we need a bigger one though. It looks so small in the picture. I need some nick-knack crap to put on the shelves. I tried, but I suck at buying that kind of stuff. I've gone to 7 stores but I just end up wandering through the store thinking 'people really buy this crap?' If any one has any favorite places let me know.

I suck at taking pictures and it really shows here. I couldn't get the lighting right. This is the living room with our new couches and end tables. You can't tell, which is probably good, but they are so comfortable that I already have my spot and have a left a butt print. You know it's been broken in after you spill something, check, and there's cheek indention's, CHECK!

This is the hallway. I know everyone wanted to see the hallway. I just want props for painting the entire house. That, and this was one of the first things painted. I swear the painter is either high or has an attention span of a 2 year old. Who paints a hallway first and the master bathroom last? Yes, I talked to him. He did the same thing I did to my parents when I was a kid. Apologized, said he'd fix it and then did whatever the hell he wanted. OK, I might still do that.

Besides the kitchen I think the master bathroom is the biggest transformation. Not that you can see it because I didn't take a before picture, but imagine a booger green wall with a big plain mirror. I think we did a good job fixing it up. Although, after booger green you can't get much worse. Did you notice too that none of the other walls were painted. Out of the whole house one wall in the master bathroom was painted and they chose booger green...I guess I should be grateful they only painted one wall. Can you imagine what else they would have done??

That's it. I hope it was worth the wait. I still have tons to do. Pictures can be a little deceiving that way. All I did was move the mess to the floor and WA LA, it's clean.

Thanks to Laurie for helping me decorate and hang everything, and if it's crooked I'm sure it's my fault. A big smooch to Billy for moving our stuff 14 times and then living in chaos for 3 weeks. It's starting to come together and we're excited for the next chapter here in Fort Worth.

Buyers Remorse

2009-07-12T14:53:00.004-05:00

One of the things that I still haven't told you (because I love to keep my secrets) is that Billy made me a consult appointment to the orthodontist during my birthday week!

On his quest to free me from childhood scars and take care of me he decided it was about time to make my pearly whites align. That or he's just sick of me complaining about my teeth.

So yesterday I got my braces on. At first, it was exciting and new and then...

3 hours later I was thinking I'd rather keep my childhood scars and twisted teeth. Oooodelalie! These things hurt.

As I lay in bed, I was thinking about all the things I could have purchased for $4,000 big ones. Or eaten - pain free. Talk about buyers remorse.

My Sister's Killer...errr Keeper

2009-07-06T13:48:00.006-05:00

********SPOILER ALERT*********

I haven't had a good cry for a few months and I figured my eyes were due for a good watering so I went to see My Sister's Keeper. The only good thing I can say is that my eyes did get watered, but my wrists almost got slit as well.

With the exception of Abigail Breslin and Joan Cusack, it was the most depressing movie I've ever seen. The problem was it had no moral to the story. The end monologue says 'I wish I could say why my sister lived or why she died, but I can't. I wish I could say something good came out of it, but I can't. We all just have to move on.' WHAT? It's a good thing the movie theater only has plastic knives or they would have had to clean up more than just spilled coke.

The comment about not knowing if there's a life after death was made several times, which just made it shallow and depressing. Why do I want to watch a movie about a girl who spends her life with one foot in the grave to have her die and her family say...I don't know what that was about, but it sucks to be her.

At least with Will Smith's Seven Pounds there was a greater good happening. In this movie the sister just dies and life goes on but not really any better. The family actually seem to grow apart. I'm not sure what the message or moral was or even if they cared to have one at all. I've heard the book is amazing, but the movie was a pointless tear jerk-er.

If any one has read the book, please tell me what was with the brother roaming seedy hollywood streets in the middle of the night? Was he prostituting himself? Is that where they came up with the $700? At the end I thought Alec Baldwin was going to give the money back, but he didn't. He just came to say he won. Which actually was right in line with the rest of the movie with the controlling oblivious mother, the dying sister apologizing and the children scheming against their parents to the point of getting a lawyer, who I think you were supposed to be rooting for.

I hope whoever wrote that screenplay is on some serious controlled substances because if you really believe there is no purpose in life and death and there is no life after death then I don't know how you get out of be in the morning. I said a prayer for these people because they need all the prayers they can get.

Too Much Culture Can Be A Bad Thing

2009-06-15T00:30:00.006-05:00

I have had THE best 2 weeks! Billy and I hadn't spent more than 3 consecutive days together since December until 2 weeks ago. Crazy right? Well we finally made time for ourselves and have spent everyday of the past 2 weeks together. It's been wonderful. My birthday was on the 3rd and my fabulous husband went above and beyond this year. I'll post about that later though because I want to post about my week in Paris first. That's right. The following week Billy and I jetted off to Paris. It was my first time in Europe and I was really looking forward to it.

I have to say though it didn't live up to my expectations. We had fun and we're glad we went, but we won't be going back. It was smelly (people and places), the french aren't the friendliest, all the art is of naked men and women and it's crazy expensive. The currency exchange is our 59 cents to their 1 euro...almost half! Stuff over there is already on the pricey side and then you have to almost double it. Every time we ate or went on a tour we usually felt like it wasn't worth the money, which put a damper on things.

We did do and see some fun stuff though. Here is Billy doing his best angry warrior pose inside the Arc de Triomphe.

Here he is outside looking good in his Paris sweater that we bought because the airline lost our luggage for a day.

We wanted to get our picture taken together so we looked around and saw this chubby couple and figured they were Americans, which they were, but they took the worst picture ever. Stupid Fat Americans.

We went to the Louvre and made sure we didn't ask any fat Americans to take our picture.

I thought the Louvre was cool. It's wicked huge, at a mile and a half long and 3 stories tall. Billy and I decided that we're not educated enough to appreciate the art. For example, explain this one to me. I just don't getit ;)

We stopped by the Orsay museum and found more of the same. This is called the Roman Orgy. Everybody was getting their picture taken in front of it...so I figured when in Rome.

At this point I was getting a little tired of seeing teetees, tatas and little marble uncircumcised peter's. I mean really. Can they not paint clothes?? I thought Paris was the fashion capital of the world but I wasn't seeing any clothes at all! And what's with all the lusty nakedness with little naked stone kids watching? Have they no shame?

We went to the Palace of Versailles and I finally asked the tour guide about the naked kids and he said most of them were actually angles, as if that made it better, and then followed it up with "And nude is better." I thought about saying there's a reason people call IT 'bumping uglies', but figured I'd have to explain it and I didn't want to embarrass Billy like that.

We got lost trying to find the Eiffel Tower. It can happen, I assure you. We finally found it after walking in circles for a while.

But when we got close the line just to get a ticket was RIDICULOUS! So Billy made an executive decision.

I will give the French props on their pastries. We went into this restaurant and ordered a coke, because even their water tastes dirty, and the waiter asked if we wanted medium or large...

We should have gone with medium. We also got a nutella crepe with whip creme and raspberries. Rocked my world. Literally, it was so much sugar I went from skipping on the high to stumbling as I went into the sugar coma. We had some good pizza and sandwiches and sorbet and maybe more crepe's. We didn't have good luck with some pasta with what I think were clams in it or salmon that was boiled :(

The whole time we were there Billy and I kept talking about how angry the French seemed. We didn't get spit on or anything, but they are like stone faced. You make eye contact on the street or metro and they don't even acknowledge you. I don't know how they physically do it. It's seriously impressive. We asked another tour guide about it and he said that you aren't supposed to talk to people on the street unless you're hitting on them. And then they are only supposed to respond if they're interested. It's a good thing Billy and I are so undesirable because we were totally putting ourselves out there all week smiling and saying hi. It's a miracle we didn't end up in an embarrassing situation with all the propositions we made. After we learned that we figured we better practice our 'french faces'.

Billy's is better because he is able to look uninterested and angry at the same time. Very authentic.

Our favorite part of the whole trip was going behind this cathedral where all these artists were and finding this painting that we bought. We love it...because everyone has clothes one.

I take it back. The best part of the whole trip was on the metro. The metro is smelly and crazy and the doors slam shut and don't come open if you get caught in them. It was our last day and we were on our way back to the airport when at a station this french kid comes running towards the train, but the buzzer starts and when that happens you better get out of the way. Well the idiot stops right in the door way and they close...hard. So he's trying to keep them open, not very successfully and then we see his girlfriend running up too. So he tries to move aside so she can squeeze through but he moves too much and the doors SLAM right on her face and chest and she's standing there half in half out squirming with what has to be the best pain face I've ever seen. No one and I mean NO ONE on the train moves to help. Billy and I are both expecting the train to start moving with her flailing about but the boyfriend is finally able to pull the doors open and get her the rest of the way on. Billy and I are trying to not to laugh out loud, but everyone else is stone cold except for this little Indian dude. He was straight faced but when I looked up he cracked a little smile before he looked down and resumed his scowl. It was hil-freaking-larious!!!

That was pretty much our trip. We saw a few other things, but I don't want to offend any more people than I may have already. It was fun to see everything and experience some culture, but we're happy to be back home.

Learning the Easy Way...Who Knew it was Possible

2009-04-17T09:13:00.010-05:00

I've had the best couple of weeks. I feel like I'm learning something new everyday, but unlike most things I learn, it's not the hard way.

Since I've been introduced to CranioSacral Therapy I've been to a Chiropractor that uses the activator method. They don't do the typical bone cracking contortion stuff. They use an instrument that I compare to a staple gun, but no staples come out.

It's painless and more importantly I wasn't worried about getting hurt, which has always stopped me from going to a chiropractor before. He even accurately told me that I eat lots of sugar, not any more of course, had sore throats as a kid and have gas. That last one not because I dropped any bombs in front of him, but because I had a certain disc out of place. It was crazy and a little mortifying. I went 3 times in 2 weeks and am in complete alignment. It doesn't hurt when I run and I feel like my posture is better. Plus I'm motivated not to eat trans fats so he stops mentioning my gas. There's apparently no lying to your Chiropractor.

I've also been learning about Essential Oils. Not the aroma therapy kind, but the therapeutic-grade oils you put on your body or take internally. Since the cleanse I've felt so good that I've been trying to maintain that feeling with healthy food and oils that help my body function as it should. I've been amazed at the range of oils and benefits. They have some great natural products too. I heard somewhere that we're not just what we eat, we're what we absorb. I've been trying to get products that are better for me, but I feel like everything has the word organic or natural on it, but when I read the ingredients I can't tell what half the stuff is. I've ordered some essential oil products that actually seem natural and I can pronounce 90% of the ingredients. The first thing I'm getting is lavender shampoo and thieves toothpaste so we'll see if I notice a difference. I'll keep you posted.

Last week I met with a guy who knows tons about essential oils and in our conversation it came up that he does Aston-Patterning. I'd never heard of it before but when he explained that it deals with correcting postural and movement limitations through massage, re-education and fitness it caught my attention. I see so many people limited in movements due to

injury or inactivity that his explanation really resonated with me. I haven't been to see him yet, but I plan to. My poor husband has been

amazingly understanding with all my new endeavors, but I

don't want to push my luck.

I had another lymphatic massage the other day and as I was talking to the therapist she said that MD Anderson recommends women with concerns about breast cancer should be proactive and get a lymphatic massage monthly to clear your system of harmful toxins. I thought that was pretty powerful.

My husband and I have been participating in a weight loss competition with 10 other people and it's over tomorrow. It's been 13 weeks and I'm afraid most people have fallen by they wayside of intimidation. I have been kicking some serious ass and have lost 20 lbs!! I can see how people might give up in the face of that kind of spanking. I'm pretty sure my husband and I are competing for 1st and 2nd place. Wish me luck. If I beat my husband he's never going to hear the end of it.

What else. I've been back to my CST a few times and I can't thank her enough for the positive changes in my life. I can't put into words how different I feel. Not that I don't have bad days, but I deal with those bad days in a remarkably better way. And my good days...rock my world.

I've been learning all sorts of stuff and it's reconfirmed to me that even in this crazy world there are things that still make sense and can help us be the people we're supposed to be mind, body and soul.

Spring Cleaning

2009-02-11T16:20:00.003-06:00

After my second biopsy and having had 2 craniosacral therapy (CST) sessions I was ready to do more than wait on my OB to give me another prescription that didn't work. I had made some big steps emotionally and I was open to trying new avenues to get my body healthy. My CS therapist recommended a detox, lymphatic drainage massage and essential oils.

She gave me a booklet on a detox that she had done and all the benefits you can get. In the booklet it recommended regular massages and epsom salt baths as well.

So far the past 10 days I have done the master cleanse (aka lemonade diet). You can't eat ANY food. You have to drink your body weight in ounces of water and drink 1/2 a gallon of the funky lemonade. It consists of water, fresh squeezed lemon juice, all natural syrup and cayenne pepper.

I've gotten 2 regular massages, 2 lymphatic massages, another CST session and taken 2 epsom salt baths. I've also just started my essential oil regimen. I've got a whole team of people making sure I do this right and have the best chance at success.

It's been amazing. Not eating is a hell of a lot easier than I thought it would be. I haven't had ANY hunger pains. NONE. All that liquid keeps you more than full. The mental cravings are the hardest part. In the booklet it tells you how important getting mentally prepared is and it's the biggest part. It suggested you make signs and a list of why you are doing it and what it would mean if you failed. I did it all. I had a sign on the pantry, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, and on the fridge, STOP. YOU CAN DO THIS. I even tied the pantry shut after I got rid of all the bad food. My mental mantra has been NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS SKINNY FEELS. I made my list and put it on the bathroom mirror and read it every morning and evening.

And I've done it. Today is day 10. I didn't cheat or make excuses or quit. I did it.

I've lost 10 pounds, my lymphatic system is clean, my body has cleared out all sorts of stuff and I feel like a new person.

A few of the benefits from the cleanse is that it can stop overeating and sugar craving, cut the emotional connection with food and increase energy. I'm not eating yet so I'm not 100% sure this has all happened, but what has happened so far is I feel in control.

I've sat at dinner tables with people eating and not ate. I had to go through a drive thru for a friend and didn't falter. I've been tempted and said no and I know I can keep doing it. I feel light and free and I'm excited to eat fresh food. I've been craving a salad. I have NEVER craved a salad. I want to cook and try new produce that I usually don't bother with because I don't have a recipe for. I am going to rock it! I can't wait to eat. I talked to a friend of mine who is the healthiest person I've ever met and got some ideas and recipes. I am PUMPED!

On top of all that I've started my morning regimen, that I've been talking about for years, of rolling out of bed and onto the floor for 10 push ups, 10 sit ups and 10 squats. Then I read or listen to the scriptures, which I downloaded to my iPod, and finally take time to make breakfast. I went to the temple and have crossed off lots of things on my to do list. I can't say enough. It's crazy.

I can't believe I did it...but I did.

Anyone Still Out There?

2009-02-07T13:40:00.007-06:00

I love being funny. I love making people laugh. I love to blog about happy, funny, sarcastic things and I haven't really been in that mood for a while. Good, funny, sarcastic things have happened.

Like when Billy and I went to Utah over Thanksgiving with our good friends, Cat and Zach, and went skiing. Or on Christmas when my FIL got all the girls the gaudiest gold earrings you've ever seen and my SIL managed to make a copy of the receipt so we could take them back. Or when my Mom got me frilly pink new born sandals, a huge night shirt that said 'sexy lingerie' and shot glasses, which she claims are for juicing. I feel like there are some mixed messages here.The rock'n new years eve party, or the fun surprise party for Cat or going to DC and seeing the Smithsonian.

I think I just got overwhelmed. Billy got a job transfer to Dallas so we're trying to sell our house. I hate to leave College Station and all the great friends I've made, but I'm shallow enough to admit that I go where the money goes. It's been stressful making sure the house is always clean and I don't know if it's just me, but I get a little offended when people come see the house and then don't like it. Stupid, but true.

I haven't been able to get pregnant so I went to my OB in December and after 2 wicked painful biopsies found out I have an infection in my uterus. I've tried a few medications, but so far nothings worked. I go in again this week for a different treatment.

I've been gaining weight like I'm pregnant though, which is super awesome since I'm a personal trainer.

I finally went and saw a therapist. Not a typical therapist. A craniosacral therapist, but I didn't actually go because of all this. I was having some knee and shoulder pain and I was referred to a women in my ward that is a physical therapist and a craniosacral therapist as well. I can be pretty opened minded when I want to be so I thought I'd give it a try. It was like nothing I've experienced before. It was crazy and traumatic and the coolest thing ever. The basics are that emotional trauma cause physical problems and by releasing the restrictions in the craniosacral system you let go of, or deal with, the emotional trauma that caused it. Freaky. I know!

She not just threw me in the deep end but pushed me under and held me there. I talked about things with her that I didn't think I'd tell anyone. If I had gone to a normal therapist it would have taken months, maybe years, to get me to offer that stuff up. But I wanted to...well maybe not wanted. OK I told her there was no way I was saying it out loud...at first. But I felt compelled to and I knew in my bones that if I talked about it I would feel better. As I was on the table crying like a little girl who just watched there dog get run over I was able to finally deal with stuff from my childhood that I thought I had dealt with, but obviously hadn't. I put things together that I don't think I ever would have. She asked me questions and it all kind of fell into place...finally after all this time. The physical pain went away in just 1 session.

I've been back 2 more times and I feel on top of the world. I woke up the other day smiling...just because I got up and I HATE getting up. I'm that person that comes up swinging. A few of my friends have been laughing at me cause I can't stop smiling. It's ridiculous.

The other day another CS therapist was telling me that it's so effective because once they feel the rhythm of the system and start asking questions if you lie, even to yourself, the rhythm doesn't change. But if your answer hits a nerve, or you talk about what's really bothering you, the rhythm changes or freaks out so the therapist knows that they're on the right track and they get down to the meat of things really quickly. So it's like therapy with a lie detector that can tell even when you're lying to yourself. It's seriously the coolest thing ever!!

I don't have everything figured out, but I feel confident and genuinely happy anyway. I've taken some big steps and have a plan in place to get past my health problems, which I might blog about in more detail. After months of feeling angry and helpless I feel amazing even though my house hasn't sold, I'm not pregnant and I'm still chunky. It's crazy what a little therapy can do.

I've debated on whether or not to blog about this, but it really has changed my life. I couldn't not share it. If there's a therapist near you GO! I promise you won't regret it.

Faulty Manufacturing

2008-12-08T00:36:00.005-06:00

I've been meaning to post about how amazing my sister is, but this weekend changed the tone of the post. She's not just amazing, she's tough as nails.

I got a call on Friday from her asking if I could come help her this weekend. She ruptured a disk and has to have back surgery sometime this week. She's had a bad back for as long as I can remember and her faulty manufacturing finally gave out. Her husband has been taking care of everyone this week and he needed some help. I hopped in the car and came to the rescue. I spent the weekend playing Sequence with her between bouts of crying and one drug induced haze after another.
(Because I love her so much I decided not to take any pictures, but felt the need to re-enact her favorite position so you can get an idea of what she's going through.)

I never thought I would describe Laurie as tough. Determined, yes. Strong willed, HELL YES! Tough, not so much. I can say with certainty now that she is one tough cookie. Her boys have been so excited about Christmas and she and her hubby haven't been able to put up any decorations so she made sure while I was there that we put up the decorations. And I LOVE to decorate for Christmas almost as much as I like to go to the dentist. Actually I may like the dentist more because I've gotten some good drugs there and Laurie was being stingy with hers. For those of you who know Laurie, you know just a tree wouldn't suffice. Between short painful naps and those few hours where she wasn't scaring the boys with her moaning she came downstairs, sat in her chair on her heating pad and made sure we decorated the whole house so her boys could have a good Christmas. She is one Crazy, Determined, Tough Mom.

I was originally going to post about her blog, Tip Junkie. I'm amazed at what she's done. She took it from a blog about fun tips to a promoting phenomenon! She is having a Mom-Preneur Shop-A-Thon with products all made by Moms. She gets hundreds of emails from people all over wanting her to promote their product or tip idea. I really think there's nothing she can't do.

If you haven't done your Christmas shopping stop by Tip Junkie's Shop-A-Thon and check out all the amazing things there are. You won't be disappointed!

Laurie, in the words of Jason Mraz you're "an island of reality in an ocean of diarrhea!"

Just Plain Wrong

2008-11-15T00:06:00.003-06:00

I ordered a pizza from papa johns and a guilt trip was delivered.

It almost ruined it for me. Almost.

5 Year Wedding Anniversary!

2008-11-09T15:45:00.005-06:00

Billy and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary on Friday. I've decided that I love our anniversary almost as much as I do our birthdays. I like them more than Christmas or Halloween or any other holiday.

There's just something about remembering what we were like when we were dating and all the hopes we had for the future that inspires us to act like the euphoric couple we once were. We always talk about the past year and how we did and what we want to improve on. It's probably the most productive conversation we have all year.

We typically don't get gifts. We just exchange cards, but we're going skiing over Thanksgiving so we went shopping Friday night and spent $300 on a bunch of stuff we needed...and a few we didn't. For example, I talked Billy into getting this shirt.I also talked him into getting me this jacket. Don't I look ready to go? I'm so excited I can barely stand it.Because we don't like to get too mushy are cards are funny/rude, but then we write nice stuff at the bottom. Scott read the stuff we wrote because we left them on the table and he took the liberty of reading them and said he got teary eyed we were so sweet. I won't share that part, but I will share the cards. This was my card to Billy. Inside: Then you start snoring in that snorty way, and I think, "Well, that's annoying, but I'm still lucky."

Billy got me 2 cards, but this one was my favorite. Inside: And I'm the one hanging back, admiring your butt.

Saturday morning we went to the Temple and had a great experience. Afterwards we got all new G's. Cat recommended the new tight stretchy bottoms and I am a huge fan. Billy has a rule that we have to get all new G's ever 2 years on our anniversary. He gets so happy about it, it cracks me up.

When we got back into town we went out to dinner at a hibachi grill with some of our best friends.

It's kind of crazy but we all dated for about 4 months, were engaged about 4 months and have been married around 5 years. The sushi was HUGE. I got a picture of Cat trying to stuff the whole thing in her mouth.
It was so funny we all joined in and tried to eat it in one bite. This is Holly trying to hide from me and her husband laughing at her. Me...I'm not so shy.The dude at the grill had all the guys try and catch a piece of flying chicken and here's Billy showing off one of his many talents. It may not look like it, but he totally caught it. Back off ladies, he's mine!

We had such a great time. I feel so blessed to be surrounded by people who I admire and look up to and can also have a crazy good time with. Billy and I had the best anniversary to date. I am lucky to be married to such a great guy that loves me and all my craziness.

When I Grow Up...

2008-11-02T23:00:00.002-06:00

I went to Austin to visit my friend, Leslie. Her little boy, Nikolas, has been in the hospital, this time, for 8 weeks. The doctors found a mass that they thought might be cancer so he had to have surgery to get it removed. Everything went well and it turned out not to be cancer, which was finally some good news. This kid has been through more in his 8 months than anyone I know.

Her other son, Conner, was staying with a friend so I took him with me to Austin the day of the surgery to distract Leslie. We had a great time. We went to Chili's and had strawberry daiquiri's, played in the yucky bug water outside the hospital and tried to get Conner to take a nap.

Leslie wasn't very successful at the nap until she relented and let him sleep in her suitcase. He had the lid down and everything. It was cracking us up. He slept the entire hour and a half like this.
I've visited Leslie 4 times now and the more I get to know her the more I like her. This last visit I realized that she's who I want to be when I grow up. She's is the most balanced person I think I've ever met. Just when I think I've got her figured out as a straight laced return missionary I find out she's got crazy stories of a stalker who got put in jail and she had more fun than I did when she was single, which is saying something. She talks about the hardships of life honestly and openly, but is optimistic. She's going through the worst situation a parent can and she's holding it together with such strength and humility...I'm just blown away. I don't know how she does it, but I'm taking notes.

Lauren watched Conner all week and I stopped by the day after we got back to see Conner and her son, Ryan, playing dress up. Aren't they the best looking Buzz and Woody you've ever seen?

Leslie has been worried about Conner, but I think he's doing great considering the situation. Any kid who can smile like that can bounce back once things finally settle down.

A Swanky Affair

2008-10-28T22:13:00.015-05:00

I had my Murder Mystery Party tonight and it was crazy fun! It was set in the 1920's with prohibition, a speakeasy, affairs and blackmail. All the ingredients for a good time.

There were 7 couples that made it and played characters from Congressmen to Moms to Mafia Bosses to Battered Wives. There were alliances, eaves dropping, extortion and lying. All normal occurences in the Marzetta home.

This is Lauren and I. Can you see our fake eyelashes? Those were tricky, but I made it through the evening without my eyelids becoming glued shut so it was totally worth it in my book.

Here's Loni, with her black eye, and her hit man, husband Nick.
I caught these guys all huddled together and was trying to listen in, but I got caught so I faked wanting to take a picture.

Billy, Scott and I in are wigs and fake facial hair...not mine, my facial hair is real.
Kristen won Best Costume!
Nate won Best Performance with his accent and Super Sleuth because he was the only one to guess the killer!

Lastly, here's the killer, Kristen, fake crying when we learned that her 'Dad' was dead. She was awesome. I totally didn't see it coming.
I've got FANTASTIC friends. They all came and played and we had an evening to remember!

IT WAS NICE KNOWING YOU

2008-10-23T20:58:00.002-05:00

ALIENS ARE COMING TO EARTH ON SATURDAY AND THEIR MISSION IS TO ABDUCT ALL GOOD LOOKING AND SEXY PEOPLE.

YOU'LL BE SAFE, BUT I'M JUST POSTING TO SAY GOODBYE.

Too Self-Absorbed?

2008-10-22T00:34:00.003-05:00

I've been living in College Station, TX for a little over a year now and I can't believe I'm going to say this, but this is probably the best place I've ever lived. I feel like deleting that even as I type it, but it's true.

It's not so much the place as the people. I don't know if it's that I'm different, the people are different or if I'm just at a place in life where it happens, but I have made 5 of the best friends I've ever had. AND I even have a few back ups in case any of them turn out to be duds!

I'm 27, been married for almost 5 years and haven't had a best friend since high school, with the exception of my totally rad sister, Laurie, but most of that has been long distance. I guess what I'm getting at is why now?

I was talking to my rad sister and she said its taken 27 years for me to learn to like people. Which may very well be the answer because I can be quite the loner. Usually there's only enough room for me, myself and I...and sometimes my husband. I don't know why I've been thinking about it so much lately, but I've just been amazed at how at ease I am with these women. I've had some of the best conversation in the last month and I just keep thinking I've been missing out.

I was talking with a friend the other day about how cool we both are and she said "I'm starting to get attached so if you really do suck tell me now." That may be the best thing I've ever heard! I'm going to leave the sucking for my husband to deal with because we have the best time together.

Have you experienced the same thing or have I just been to pre-occupied with myself to notice how cool everyone else is?

Halloween is coming!

2008-10-15T18:29:00.002-05:00

Billy swears that Halloween is his favorite holiday, but we never do anything and I always feel guilty about it. This year I'm determined to do something fun...I just don't know what. A costume party, a murder mystery dinner, a get together with Halloween games?

Then what if I do it and people are lame? That would suck. I need ideas people!! What should I do that will be super fun, way cool and make everyone adore me??

Boredom At Its BEST!

2008-09-15T11:42:00.012-05:00

Ever since Scott has moved in with us it has been non stop entertainment.

Billy and I came home the other day to this...

Are you as worried about him as I am?? Too much free time is never good.

During the hurricane Laurie had her in-laws come down and SHE kept us up to date on her family issues. Here is our tribute to her pain. We love you Laurie and hope you enjoyed your BIRTHDAY! This our gift to you...we're on a budget :)

Hurricane IKE:

Gas money - $100

Food and water - $200

Money spent while living on the streets because you're afraid to go home to the in-laws - $600

Your family mocking your in-laws - PRICELESS

This is Scott and I taking it entirely TOO FAR! Laurie, if this doesn't bring a smile to your face call us and we'll re-inact it again without the bleeping ;)

I'm Unworthy

2008-09-10T13:23:00.003-05:00

SuperCool Mom is trying to emotionally blackmail me into posting more by giving me this award. Like by giving me the 'I Big Red Puffy Heart Your Blog' I would feel compelled to earn it or something. I give her an E for effort.

I love SuperCool Jane's blog for the same reason she likes mine. She tells it like it is. Good days or bad days, crafty projects or a messy house, fun activities or cranky kids it's always real with her and told in the most entertaining witty way possible. I accept the emotional blackmail with pride and want to pass it on to:

Laurie who if I had any aspirations to be more productive and uber crafty she's who I'd aspire to be.

Cecilia who's such a great Mom and always seems to be doing something spectacular.

Lynette who has amazing posts about living in Chile and fantastic taste in music.

I can always count on finding something worthwhile and entertaining on your blogs.

I Finally Posted...And It's Wicked LOOONG!

2008-08-27T10:15:00.013-05:00

I have been having such fantastic weekends that I need the whole week to recuperate before I do it again that I haven't had a chance to post. I'm terribly sorry to all 2 of my faithful readers!

The first weekend was VEGAS!! I had such an amazing time. It being my first time I was amazed at all the money they put into ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING! I've never felt so poor in my life, and for those of you who knew me growing up, that's really saying something. There was SO much to SEE and I'm not just talking about the buildings, even though those were completely, ridiculously, over the top fantastic! We were walking down the strip and this lady crossed the street right in front us. Freak's got HORN'S ON! It was the middle of the day too. I thought they only came out at night, but not in Vegas Baby! My brother, who was selling pest control in Vegas, hung out with Billy and I. He took us to this aquarium and he was like a kid in a candy store...who knew he had a thing for fish? Here is his impression of a puffer fish.

It was actually very educational. For example, did you know that some fish have teeth? Napoleon Dynamite teeth, but teeth none the less. It looks like it has lip stick on too :)
It was great having Scott with us because he knew the lay of the land and even got us into the wicked cool pool at the MGM because he had a hook up there. One of the things I was most excited about was the buffets, but we were very disappointed. We went to the Treasure Island and the Planet Hollywood buffet's and they both sucked. Right before we went swimming we wanted to eat so I asked Scott what he wanted and he said Del Taco.......SERIOUSLY? Billy was annoyed, but we went and it was actually in the top 3 places we ate at.....very sad but true.
I think it was Shar who recommended the Paris buffet, but we went by twice and the line was out the door, around the corner and almost into the next hotel so we didn't get a chance. I was heart broken :( We walked and walked and walked and walked. Scott would say 'Hey lets go see the Treasure Island show' so we'd truck it there, then he'd say 'Hey let's go to M&M World', which is on the other side of the bloody strip, but we followed. I don't know how many times he did this to us, and after the second day I think he was doing it on purpose. Little shit. My feet hurt so bad I was sitting on the escalators just to get a little relief. I couldn't feel my toes and my calves were rock hard, but not in a good way. I felt like I should have trained in preparation. When Laurie and I went to NY a few years ago she had this problem and even walked backwards down the stairs and I made fun of her non-stop. I know it's too late, but I take it back Laurie. There was nothing funny about that pain...to me at least. Billy and Scott had a great time. Payback is definitely a bitch.
I made sure we saw all the important stuff!
We saw two shows. La Reve, which is an aquatic Cirque Du Soleil show. We took Scott and we all had the time of our lives! The stuff they did was unbelievable!!

I especially enjoyed it! I'm looking into getting Billy one of those bathing suits.

The other show was Stomp Out Loud. I thought it would be good, but it was above and beyond! It was amazing, intricate, hilarious and they even had the crowd participate a little. I think I might have liked this one better, but they were both crazy over the top!I don't want to bore you with everything we did, but it was so much fun seeing all the sights. One of my favorite things we found in Vegas is the Peter Lik Art Gallery. His stuff is vibrant, but peaceful. We found 2 galleries and went into both and had to see everything. I made Scott put his hands in his pockets because this picture sold for $100,000.
He only takes pictures of nature, but it's nature you've never seen before.
And they're HUGE! This one was taller the I was. You can't really appreciate it like this, but I had to share.

The last night we were there my oldest friend from 1st grade got in to get married the next day. Billy had to get back for an important meeting so we couldn't stay, but we had dinner and hung out before catching the red eye home. I wish I could have stayed to see her Elvis wedding. How fun would that have been! Sorry Steph!

The next weekend we went to Dallas and went jet skiing with Laurie's family. We stopped at Jack in the Box on the way and felt all white trash because Davis didn't have a shirt on but did have a few fake tattoos and Laurie didn't have any shorts on!
He kids are an anomaly to me. They hate to eat. No matter what it is. The older boys give in after you start threatening to take stuff away, but Drake doesn't negotiate with terrorists, I mean parents. Doesn't he look so worried?! Like they're trying to poison him!I don't know where they get it from, because it's not Laurie.We had such a good time. Drake and I rode around and he kept trying to push my hands away so he could drive. Jason took Billy and I out on the tube...you can't see us because we're under it at this point.

The best part was when Davis was riding with Billy and Davis hit the gas when he took a turn and they both flew off! No one was hurt, but Davis was so proud.

The next day Laurie and Jason took off for a night for their 13th wedding anniversary. We had a great time with the boys. Davis and Dylan are so easy it seems wrong. At one point they were being so quiet we had to go find them to make them eat.
Drake was my shadow and followed me EVERYWHERE! I'd escape and then I'd hear 'ER R U WESA!'
I didn't mind too much because he's so dang cute, but he could have been a little bit less mean about it. Here Laurie had gotten home and she told him to kiss my bruise better. As you can see he wasn't very repentant about it. I even used my best pouty face.
Laurie is the worst about having food in the house because her family doesn't eat, but According to Kelly had sent her a package with some freakishly good cookies in it that saved the day. They were so good in fact, that when I left I took them with me. So umm, thanks Kelly!
The next weekend Scott came back from Vegas and moved in with us. He's crazy fun when he's in a good mood and we've had times when I laugh so hard I can't breathe. We went to Houston to visit my brother's family for his birthday, but I didn't get any pictures. We all had a great time playing the Wii. We got him a new game where the Mario Cart characters are in the Olympics. Scott and I actually opened it earlier that day and took it across the street to my neighbor who has a Wii and played it before we gave it my brother as a birthday gift. Completely tacky, I know.

This past weekend we finally stayed put and relaxed. A couple of times Scott came in and found Billy and I reading and he kept calling us lame. I thought it was a perfect weekend. I've read 5 books in the past 3 weeks and have loved every minute of it. I'm trying to enjoy life at the stage as much as possible because I know once I finally get pregnant I won't ever have the same freedom again.

Breaking Dawn

2008-08-07T16:01:00.009-05:00

I went with a few friends to the book release party at Barnes & Nobles for Breaking Dawn. We had a great time even though we missed all the good stuff. We got there at 10:45 and had missed the cake, stickers and buttons. We did manage to get our picture taken though.
The best part of the night was the people watching. Stephanie Meyer has managed a following that ranges from pre-teens to grandma's, from scary goth's to uber preppy and my favorite...
...the overly confident scantily clad group. I managed to get this pic with not one but THREE of them. I can almost see this chick's snacks her shirt is so low! And who wears a completely backless floor length dress to Barnes & Nobles?? Every where you looked there was something horrifying to see. It was great!Here is Chenae mesmerized by the array of people there that night. Notice her open mouth, wide eyed and frozen expression. It really was a sight to see all these people in one place.

We were excited to get our books...can you tell?

I have to say though that I was pretty disappointed in the book. I read the first half on my flight to Vegas and the rest on the flight home and I had to talk myself into picking it back up. Maybe my expectations were too high but I was left wanting and annoyed. Here's why...(don't read the following in red if you haven't read it yet and plan to.)

SPOILER ALERT!!!

I was so over Jacob that when I started reading and saw what a huge role he still played I was BEYOND miffed! Then in chapter 8 he gets his own chapter to mope and whine I ACTUALLY skipped the whole thing just to find out the he keeps going in chapter 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17 and 18!! I was pissed before I even went back and read any of it. I can't tell you how PLAYED OUT this love triangle is for me. SERIOUSLY!! It just seemed to get more annoying by the second. Stephanie took it places I didn't think she would, but I do have to admit that I still had enough hope to keep reading. By page 367 I FINALLY calmed down. It FINALLY started getting good. Then when Bella found out about what Jacob had done and attacked him I cheered...out loud. It's about DADGUM TIME someone kicked his trash!!!! From that point on I did enjoy the rest of the book. The Volturi was brought back, we got over the love triangle, and there was some twist and turns that didn't make me want to puke.

I just wish that there was:

- more Alice, she's such a great character and doesn't take any of Bella's crap.

-a whole heck of a lot less interfering Jacob with no imprinting on infants...what was Stephanie thinking??

-more of Edward being the strong confident Edward we all came to love instead of the weak pathetic Edward she gave us. The book was divided into 3 books - 1.Bella, 2. Jacob, 3. Bella...Edward got robbed again and again! When Edward asked Jacob for his stud services I felt like she took it too far. He didn't come back from that. Even in the end when he was more himself, Bella had to lie to him so he didn't get the all killed. She ruined his character by making him the liability.

- a more realistic Bella. I know she's a vampire and all that, but she went from THE weakest, clumsiest, obnoxious human to the ULTIMATE vampire that did everything PERFECTLY and saved all the other mature, strong, experienced vampires when she was weeks old. I just couldn't picture Bella saving the day...that's Edward's job.

END SPOILER ALERT!

I did enjoy the end and she wrapped everything up nicely, which I do like, but I was just hoping for more of the good stuff and less of the annoying. More growing and learning than just wrapping up the story.

What did you think??

Vegas Baby!!

2008-07-28T12:11:00.003-05:00

Billy and I are headed to Vegas this weekend!! We've never been before so I need some Do's and Don'ts. What should we see for sure and what can we skip??

I Know What You're Thinking...

2008-07-14T15:48:00.003-05:00

..."another babysitting post? Really? Doesn't she do anything else??"

I do actually work a little bit and have friends I do things with. It's just I always have a funny story with babysitting. This time I went to Houston and watched my husband's twin brother's kids for 2 days. They have 3 boys and 1 girl and they ditched them all to go to Guam and Hawaii for 10 days. My mother-in-law agreed to watch them, but then couldn't make it for the first 2 days so Lisa to the rescue!

Teague is a tough little girl. Don't let the cuteness fool you. She gives as good as she gets! When she's finished drinking her milk she does this thing where she takes a sip and then spits it out and continues to do that until all the milk is gone. I will shamefully admit that it took me two cups of milk to figure out what all the wet stuff on the floor was :(

Rhett is a ball of energy! He's always on the go and in to everything, but the hardest thing with him was that I couldn't understand a word he said to me. Normally you can get an older sibling to translate, but his brothers were useless. I think they secretly thought it was funny watching me try to guess what he was asking for. And he never asked for anything easy like a drink. It was more like 'lets go to the pool', but all I got was 'garble garble hul'. It took me forever to figure that one out.

This little stinker, also known as Kohl, gave me the best story. It was day 2 and Grandma Jackie was supposed to be there at 9 AM to take over, but 9 came and went and no Grandma Jackie. Then 10 and 11 and 12 and 1 and 2 and 3 with no phone call to say HEY you know how I said I would be there at 9 AM well I'm actually going to show up at 4 PM instead. I was beyond miffed because I had some training appointments that day that I had to cancel at the last minute. So it was about 2 and the little kids were taking a nap so the big kids were having quiet time and Kohl came in and asked for hot chocolate. He told me his Mom always makes it in this specific cup, which happened to be dirty. You know when a kid says my Mom always does... that usually translates to she never lets me but I wouldn't be a kid if I didn't try and make you do it. It was 98 degrees outside so I said I wouldn't make him hot chocolate in his dirty cup but I would make him chocolate milk. It was like the world ended! He screamed and cried and you would have thought I'd just killed his dog. I told him to go to his room if he was going to act that like and not to wake the babies. Off he went and I could hear him complaining about how mean I was to Broc. A few minutes later he comes back, still crying, and says MY MOM and I cut him off and told him if he was going to yell at me he needed to go away until he could calm down. Off he went with renewed vigor telling Broc 'Aunt Weesa told me to go away!' About 15 minutes later he comes out again very calm and says and I quote 'Aunt Weesa you owe me an apology.' WHAT?? I asked why and he said because I was mean to him. I told him that he needed to apologize to me for yelling at me and that if he apologized I would still make him chocolate milk, but I was NOT going to make him hot chocolate in this heat. He scowled and thought about it and I guess came to the conclusion that he wasn't going to win so he mumbled an apology. Once he turned around I couldn't stop grinning. What audacity for a 4 year old to demand an apology from an adult. I like his fire and determination he just needs to use it on someone it will work on :) Maybe he's had better luck with Grandma.

Broc is the mellowest kid until he loses at a game and then he turns into a raving lunatic! I only had to ref twice so it wasn't too bad. Over all the kids did pretty good and if Grandma Jackie hadn't tainted it it would have been nice.

Several people are mad at my SIL for asking me to babysit because they think it is going to push back my already delayed start to having kids of my own, but you should know my biological clock, aka Billy, has become deafening. Without any unforeseen complications, such as dried up ovaries or an over dose of birth control, you can expect a bigger announcement in the next few months!

I'm Being Stalked!

2008-06-30T16:06:00.016-05:00

My sister, Laurie, came down to visit me when her husband left for his 10 day man vacation. Her boys can get a little crazy so they came down for a quick visit. While they were here Drake attached himself to me and I have to admit I loved every minute of it! He ate with me, played with me and when Laurie and I left the boys with a babysitter he cried 'SHISA'!

He was totally loving on me, which is pretty huge because Drake does not kiss unless there is something in it for him. Seriously. It was a quick trip because the boys would not sleep! Laurie blogged about our trip to Wal-mart at 5 AM and as fun as Laurie made it, it wasn't something we wanted to do again so she headed home.

During her week at home without her hubby they made a trip to the ER that ended with Drake getting staples in his head. I felt so bad that I cleared my schedule and went up the next weekend to help out. When I got there I realized that I have a stalker...

Drake was on me like Ike on Tina! He wouldn't let me go anywhere without him and he kept pulling on my hand and say 'comere shisa'. This time though his was a little less loving and a little more violent about it. 10 days without Jason had obviously made him bitter and he picked me to take out his frustrations on...

He's going through this pinching, hitting, biting stage.

By the end I felt like cowering in the corner every time I heard 'shisa comere'! Laurie kept laughing at me and calling me a weenie because she doesn't have any bruises. I told her it's not my fault Drakes loves me more, albiet in a slightly violent way. She said it was because he loves all men and he thinks I'm a dude. Then Drake, the traitor, confirmed it by actually calling me a 'DUDE'! Laurie must have put him up to it...wench.

How can something so cute leave such big bruises?

Regardless of the fact that I got my butt kicked by a 2 year old, I had a great time. I have the best nephews...90% of the time ;)

Too Close For Comfort

2008-06-18T16:00:00.004-05:00

Today I was out in the yard weeding, pruning, getting some sun and listening to my ipod having a great time when I start to notice this wasp and it won't leave me alone. Usually when I see a wasp and it sees me we agree to leave each other alone, but this one kept flying by getting a little closer each time. I'm not usually that intimidated but this one seemed to be suicidal! I mean...who's going to win in a fight...I'm a tad bit bigger and I have sharp, heavy pruning shears. Sure it may get in a sting before it dies, but where's the dignity in that?

I wasn't about to quit just because of one wasp so I kept going. I don't ever go in the backyard and weed the flower bed back there so it's really bad right now. For a while I thought the weeds had taken over and killed the plants, but the other day I mowed the lawn and there were some roses that had bloomed so I thought I'd put a little effort into it. I was wearing my skimpy 'don't go out in public' bikini top so I could get rid of my farmers tan and was making some good head way when I FINALLY see this...

You can't tell but there are 6 wasps on that nest!! Just hanging out doing whatever wasps do on a nest and I WIG OUT and not for the reason you might think. I'm not that smart.

This is a picture of my sad flower bed, pay no attention to the electrical stump thing in the middle, do pay attention to where I weeded and pruned. I did everything inside the white line and I drew a star around the nest. My scantily clad ass was all up in there! I pruned the rose bush they were in!!! I didn't have gloves on or even a shirt for that matter! What the TRUCK is wrong with me? No wonder that wasp was trying to take me down!
When I did see it you would have laughed your booty off watching me falling all over myself trying to get the hell out of there. It gave me the HEEBEEJEEBEES that I just had my hand in there pulling weeds. They totally could have won that battle, not the war mind you cause I would have been pissed and gone back with my wasp killer, after I stopped crying like a girl, but maybe they would have been smart and relocated by then.

Long story longer, I don't know what wasps do in their nest, but it must be important because my hand had to literally be inches away from them at one point and they didn't attack. Thank goodness for whatever that is! I must have had my guardian angle looking over me today...hopefully she got a good laugh in return for saving my over exposed behind!

A First For Me

2008-06-13T10:45:00.008-05:00

This week I've had the pleasure of going to Mommy and Me Swim Lessons. I know what you're thinking. Don't you have to have a kid and be a mommy to go to Mommy and Me...apparently not.

I don't think I've blogged about it, but I do actually have friends here. Two of those friends, Leslie and Lauren, have sons about the same age and they signed them up for the Mommy and Me Swim Lessons.

Lauren just had another baby boy several weeks early so her Mom, a.k.a. MiMi, came down to help out and take her son, Ryan, to the lessons so he wouldn't miss out.

Leslie also had another boy about 3 months ago, but little Nikolas is having some serious health issues and finally had to be hospitalized in Austin. Her older son, Conner, stayed here with his Dad and I was asked to take him to swim lessons with Ryan so he didn't miss out either.

So off Mimi and I went to Mommy and me with Ryan and Conner. It was pretty funny. I have to say for my first time I didn't do so bad. 3 lessons and no one drowned, got hurt or lost. All in all a success :)

With the exception of the young instructor who couldn't remember the words so she had a cheat sheet for the song Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush I had a great time. Ryan was jumping to me and going under water, which is pretty huge because I think he's scared of me. Maybe he jumped trying to escape or for fear of what I would do when I said jump and he didn't. Either way I'll take it. Conner had a traumatic experience so he wouldn't put his head under water and every time the instructor said to do it he would get all loud and say NO UNDERWATER! I've never seen such frustration on a kids face. Really, how many times did he have to say it before the lady understood that there was no way he was going to put his face under water!

I'm sorry Leslie had to miss it, but I'm glad I was able to help out a little bit. I should have brought my camera with me, but I figured me, water and 2 two year olds didn't sound like a place my camera would survive. I wish she were closer so I could do more. Head on over to her blog and say Hi. She's stuck in a hospital room with no friends or family close so I'm sure she could use some blogger love.

It's Time For A Change

2008-06-11T18:58:00.003-05:00

I'm coming up on my 1 year blogging anniversary and I thought it was appropriate to make some changes.

1. My new header made by my favorite sister Laurie. It's completely silly and I love it! She even gave me choices. What do you think...did I make the right one?

2. My profile picture. Also by Laurie and I can't stop laughing whenever I look at it. I think I might even comment more now just so everyone can see it and laugh at me.

3. I turned off moderating my comments. The only comments I don't publish are the annoying spam comments and it's getting a little tedious to publish EVERY SINGLE comment I get since I get so many. Kidding. I looked at Laurie's site meter and she's at something ridiculous like 54,000 vs my 8,000 (5,000 of which were me). I would be "blenvious" except that I would rather be friends with her than me too. She's amazing and deserves every single visit she gets.

4. I turned off my auto start on my music a while ago, but I'm curious if any ever plays it now. Should I just get rid of it?

That's it. What do you guys think? I think it's totally me...ridiculous, hilarious and something no self respecting adult would do :)

NEVER AGAIN!

2008-06-10T13:34:00.005-05:00

Last Wed I hopped in a U-haul with my Dad and we started our very long trek to Utah. With all his Ex's in Texas he decided that Utah might be a better place for him :) I couldn't agree more so I told him I would help him make the move.

My Dad said that the truck wouldn't go over 65 AND gas stations are cutting you off at $75 these days. What does this mean...A LONG ASS DRIVE! We ended up stopping every 4 or 5 hours to get more gas so the 24 hour drive turned into 30 hours of torture.

My Dad and I are very...let's say honest with each other so to keep each other awake we had some interesting, in depth, semi contentious debates. My Dad is that person that is always right and never concedes and it bugs that crap out of me. At one point we were talking religion and we were pretty much saying the same thing, but he wouldn't give so I wouldn't give, but not because I didn't agree just because I was getting pissed that he wouldn't give a little. Do you have people like that in your life? Damn know-it-alls!

I do have to say that we have an understanding that after we tell each other that the other is stupid we can move on and not hold a grudge. At least I can...here's to hoping he can too :)

We drove straight through and by the end we were exhausted. I had to finish the last few hours and there was this semi that would pass me, then slow down so I would pass him and then he'd speed up again. The problem was that I was nervous at this point because I was so tired and didn't want to be close to any one so it was really pissing me off. I finally yelled at him, not that he could hear me, but I felt better. Then my Dad joined in and said 'Yeah, get the TRUCK out of the way!' So then I was like 'TRUCK YOU!' I only share this with you because it was the highlight of the trip. Me and my Dad using switch words in Utah at a trucker that couldn't hear us...we're simple folk.

Friday we woke up and spent the day with my brother, James, Cissa and their kids. They are such a fun family and I always remember laughing when I think of them.

My Dad didn't waste any time and went to a singles dance that night. Eager are we?? The dance was from 9-11...party animals! I was so tired after our trip that I wanted to go to bed early, but I was leaving the next morning and I wanted to spend as much time as I could with everyone and wait up to hear about my Dad's first dance. When he didn't get home at midnight I was impressed, but when he wasn't home by 1 I started to worry. Did he get lost? Was he so tired he got in an accident? Did he not listen to my advice and get seduced by an over zealous women??

I gave up at 1:20, but I left him a note:

(Where the TRUCK are you?)

He took me to the airport at 5 AM the next morning and he told me all about it. He had a great time and was surprised at how good some of the dancer's were. He was able make a few friends and they went out afterwards. It looks like my Dad and Utah go together like peanut butter jelly :) When he dropped me off I told him he'd better like it here because I wasn't going to come back and get him. He said he didn't think Texas would welcome him back anyway.

I slept the whole way from UT to TX, but had a 2 hour lay over to get back to College Station. I ended up buying the book The Host by Stephenie Meyer. I liked it just as much as her Twilight books. Maybe even more since I read it in 3 days, unlike the others that took me a week.

All kidding aside I hope my Dad loves it there and aside from not sleeping for 40 hours straight I enjoyed all the aggravating time I got to spend with him since he's now on the annual visit schedule.

Happy Birthday To ME!

2008-06-04T08:49:00.006-05:00

Yesterday was my birthday and it was an awesome day! Actually an awesome couple of days. It started on Sunday when my brother, his fun family and my Mom came over to celebrate. My rock'n SIL brought everything over for dinner and my Mom made my birthday cake so I didn't have to cook or clean!! I got a gift card to my favorite store of all time, Banana Republic AND my favorite athletic clothing store, Academy! I also got some HILARIOUS birthday cards. My brother's said:
A philosophical birthday question - If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it...
(Inside) But it nails some skinny bitch you can't stand, should you feel guilty?

I was so proud of my Mom when she gave me this card because it shows that she accepts me for who I am with all my faults.It said:
It's your birthday...
(Inside) ...smile your ass off.

Then you open it up and it's a poster of donkey's playing pin the ass on the human!

We were all shocked that my Mom got that card we were laughing til we cried!

On my birthday my hubby showed that he really does listen when he got me Bare Minerals make up that I LOVE, a shopping spree that lasted several hours and a couple of stores without a single complaint and a trip to LAS VEGAS that we are going to take in August! We had sushi, saw a movie and played in a softball game. I know, not exactly my idea of the perfect ending, but we won and everyone dedicated it to me :)

This is actually my 105th post, but I thought it was fitting that I do the 100 things about me on my birthday. OK, I'm not actually going to do 100 because that's entirely too much effort, but I'll do the most important. Here is my 10 Top Ten:

1. After a decade of not saying NO to a single member of my crazy family they are finally admitting the truth...I AM EVERYONE'S FAVORITE!!!

2. I'm fabulously funny and I've found I'm even more so in writing.

3. I love movies, I love to go to movies alone and I love slap stick comedies the best.

4. I'm not a hugger so BACK OFF!

5. I'm athletic. My husband made me play on my first softball team ever and I realized I'm good at sports I don't even like!

6. I have ROCKED the HELL out of my yard! I can't decorate the inside of my house, but the outside is amazing.

7. Since buying my first house I've come to realize I love projects. I've also realized my husband hates them :) TOO BAD...SOO SAD.

8. I am the BEST Aunt EVER! Ask any of my 9 nieces and nephews and they'll all say the same thing.

9. I have a slight self diagnosed case of tourettes, and after 27 years it starting to wear off on my family. Refer to the above cards from my Mom and brother and Laurie called me a bitch today without me provoking her ;)

10. I DO NOT have a self esteem problem.

Lastly, I wanted to say thanks to Laurie for the best birthday song EVER and her fabulously truthful post about me yesterday :)

I DID IT!!!

2008-05-24T18:00:00.005-05:00

Billy was almost as excited as I was when I finished the headboard, but for a different reason. He thinks a garage is for parking your cars in and not for projects...blasphemy, I say! With the headboard out of the way we could almost fit both cars in, but we had too much junk laying around. We have a closet in the back of the garage where we were putting everything, but it was to the point that we couldn't walk in it anymore and it was spilling out into the parking space so last Saturday Billy and I put a bunch of stuff in the attic, installed organizers and tada...

We could finally fit both cars in the garage. (The closet is the door on the left behind the punching bag...it's Billy's favorite room in the house)

I haven't seen Billy so happy after cleaning in...well ever.

His happiness only got to last about 3 days before I came up with a new project. I booted the cars out, put down plastic and started painting 25 2x4x10's to make my benches for the porch.

I sweet talked my Dad into coming down to help and we were working so hard he lost his shirt at some point. I'm so sad that he's moving to Utah next week...but watch out all you single ladies, he's on the market!

After only 5 somewhat grueling hours I am the proud owner of 4 newly built freaking fantastic benches!!!

How AMAZING do they look? I need to go back and sand and paint the 2nd coat, so please don't point out the non-painted parts. You're not supposed to be noticing that anyway. You should be sufficiently amazed that WE DID IT! What was an idea a week ago is now a finished product by 3 people who have never made benches before.

Here are my poor exhausted men :( They were pretending to be as pumped as I was...my Dad is not a good faker, Billy on the other...you can tell this isn't his first time posing for a blog picture :)

I want to say a HUGE thanks to my Dad for being such a champ and putting up with me and my projects. My house and I are going to miss you terribly! Thanks to my dutiful hubby for financing all my ideas. Maybe one day one of them will make money instead of costing it...although it only cost me $140 for 3 - 10 ft benches and 1 - 4 ft bench instead of $200 for 2 - 4ft benches...I know, I ROCK!

4 Movie Reviews

2008-05-18T15:13:00.001-05:00

I was finally able to guilt trip some of the women here to hangout with me. I think it was probably more because I suggested that we go see Made of Honor than it was to hang with me, but I'll take what I can get.

I have to say I was a little disappointed. I was expecting My Best Friend's Wedding just reversed, but I didn't think it was that good. I read a review that said "I know Julia Roberts, and you, Patrick Dempsey, are no Julia Roberts." Or even better "For those who find My Best Friend's Wedding too mentally taxing."

Julia may be a better actor, but he sure is prettier.

For me it was too sexual...and I think that's saying something. It was full of bad gay jokes, the P word (another name for a cat) and they even went so far as to make a continuing joke of thunder beads. The women I was with didn't know what thunder beads were and I probably shouldn't have offered up that I did know what they were, but it's just so gross that they tried to make it funny by having the grandma wear them as a necklace. For those of you who don't know they are an anal sex toy :0 Those three words should never be used in the same sentence.

With the exception of the thunder beads, overall it was cute, predictable and entertaining but you could definitely tell a man wrote it.

While I was in Utah I saw Iron Man. I really enjoyed it. There was action, adventure and comedy. "'Iron Man' is not only action packed, as expected, but it is also laced with a story that has substance and with some wit and romance added to please all ages."

I thought Robert Downey Jr. did a fantastic job. I even enjoyed the bad guy, Jeff Bridges ,who usually plays the nice guy. I didn't see it, but I guess after the movie was over there was a preview of the sequel. I can't wait.

I saw What Happens In Vegas by myself and laughed out loud. I wasn't expecting much and I'm not a Cameron Diaz fan, but I thought it was great. Ashton Kutcher was fantastic.

"Here's a romantic comedy that is goofy, highly implausible, sometimes over the top, often in bad taste, and resolutely empty-headed. In short, it's the best example of its genre to appear on the screen this year."

My favorite movie that's out right now has to be Baby Mama. Billy and I saw it together and we were cracking up! "A pithy deconstruction of both the trendy and the traditional, with well-aimed swipes at everything from designer parenthood to the redneck in the blue collar."

It's got something in it for everyone. It's my MUST SEE MOVIE RECOMMENDATION.

What Do You Think?

2008-05-16T16:45:00.006-05:00

My Mom found a bench at Hobby Lobby that she thought would look good on my porch, but when I went to my Hobby Lobby they didn't have it. I did find this one though.

I like it because it's simple and it has a very rugged feel, which is good because it is going to get rained on quite a bit. It would drive me nuts if I put something nice out and then it turned ugly...might as well put something ugly out and be happy when it stays ugly :)

When I came home and looked at my porch I started having seconds thoughts. The bench is pretty small compared to my porch.

Plus I started thinking I could make a bench like that to the size I wanted for 1/4 of the price. I'm thinking I'll call my Dad and ask him to come 'hang out' with me for the weekend :) What do you guys think? Should I just buy it and be done or put in the work and get more of what I want for less?

I'm probably feeling all handy because I FINALLY finished my guest bed headboard. I think I started this project 8 months ago. I kept losing interest, but I finally did it and it looks fantastic!!

This is what I started with...

After sanding, priming, blue base coat and then antiquing it brown (THANKS MOM) this is what I got. (it's not a very good picture, but I'm using it anyway because it makes the final product seem even more amazing)

Then I made a frame out of base boards and painted it...a few times due to complications.

I also made a frame for the back so I could hang the whole thing on the wall like a picture frame. I nailed the tin to it and then used liquid nails to glue the front pretty frame to the back hanging frame.

After all that work this is the finished product...

It looks a little small in the picture, but in the room it's HUGE and AMAZING! I'm glad Laurie talked me into, even if it has been the bane of Billy's existence for the past 8 months :)

And The Shamelessness Continues

2008-05-07T20:01:00.014-05:00

I can't remember what day it was but it totally snowed while we were there. Laurie and I don't have anything close to winter clothes and we were freezing our booty's off! Notice Laurie's wearing a thin sweater. Although, freak of nature, Melissa is wearing a super thin shirt.

We went to Nordstrom's to get Laurie and Melissa new lipstick. Doesn't Melissa look fantastic!

While we were there we started trying on all the hats and headbands that were about $100. Seriously, if I had that much money I wouldn't spend it on a hat, unless I had really bad hair. I only touched one for fear of ruining it and then having to buy it.

Here's Laurie strutting her stuff. Notice her hat matches her necklace, which matches her flower, which matches her bracelet. Of course.

In the car before we got to the mall we were listening to the Mariah Carey CD I bought and some how her ethnicity came up and Melissa pipes up with 'She's Jamocha'...WHAT? After some heated debating it came out that Jamocha is actually a drink at Arby's!! HOLY CRAP we laughed about that for the rest of the day. In the mall they had an Arby's so Melissa treated us to a Jamocha shake. I wasn't sold on Mariah being Jamocha, but what do you think? (I looked and looked for a picture of Mariah with her clothes on and I finally found one right before I was ready to give up. Even with clothes on I'm still like...Holy Boobies Batman! I guess she doesn't agree with bigger isn't always better.)

I just looked her ethnicity up and this is what I found...

She is the third and youngest child of Patricia Hickey, a former opera singer and vocal coach of Irish descent, and Alfred Roy Carey, an aeronautical engineer of African American and Venezuelan descent.

She is white on the outside but black in the inside.

She is 1/4 sk@nk and 3/4 vile.
I think I'm going to agree with the middle one :)

Saturday night we went to another blogger party, and my favorite brother (because he's the only one that reads my blog) was the DJ. In this picture it's James, his rock'n wife Cecilia, Laurie and Me.

It was put on by Jill and Kristi, who did an amazing job!

Melissa and I left to go to the bathroom and as we were getting ready to go in one of the hotel people came out and when we opened the door the...fragrance came rushing out. It was bad. I mean really really bad. Poopari bad. I really had to pee so after we stopped laughing I sucked my upper lip to my nose and went in. What you can't do that? It's one of my many talents :)

When I come out I see Melissa stealing a crap load of brochures to put in her Mansion that she rents out. She doesn't think she was stealing...Utah Mormons! Kidding! I love Utah Mormons. I've gotten into some fun trouble with Utah Mormons ;)

When we came back, a little giddy, Laurie had a Tip Junkie fan club going on so Melissa and I wrote on our name tags - Tip Junkie's Sister and Tip Junkie's BFF. That way we could be cool too! Please excuse the picture of the boobs, you're supposed to be looking at the name tags.

I left another time to do something, probably poop, sorry I can't help myself now, I told Melissa to watch my food so Laurie wouldn't eat it and this is what I came back to...Bitches. Don't mess with my Krispy Kreme!

After the party I went home with James and Cecilia and we stayed up late chatting and laughing. In the morning I played with their cute kids and then they took me to the airport. I flew home first class thanks to my FIL working for Continental, which was just what I needed after a long exhausting week keeping Laurie in check with all the crazy pictures she wanted to take and making sure Melissa didn't get caught stealing stuff.

Real Women of Genius

2008-05-06T13:58:00.010-05:00

Today We Solute You, Mrs. Overactive Imagination Who Unfortunately Doesn't Embarrass Easily. I dedicate this post to all of you bloggers who can make something out of nothing. To those few special people that can make getting picked up from the airport a spectacle or turn a trip to Wal-Mart into a good time armed with nothing but a camera and a lack of shame. Without you blogging wouldn't be nearly as fun so have no pride or self control and take as many embarrassing pictures as possible.

(Laurie has, of course, already posted about our trip so head over and check it out. I'm just going to post about the few more embarrassing things she missed.)

No Self Control - Laurie trying to reserve Melissa a spot at the airport after she passed us not recognizing the Matrix wannabes as her friends.

No Pride - Laurie wigging out about Tumbleweed and wanting to take a picture to prove her ignorance.

No Shame - Us dissing Cafe Rio and having no idea that if we insult Cafe Rio most of our readers will stop reading.

No Shame, Self Control or Pride - Me jumping for joy at Copy Max when I finally pooed after 3 days of no pooing. Sorry Copy Max bathroom cleaner :( Thank you Laurie for documenting this special time for me :(

I was on my best behavior at Blogapalooza, but I shouldn't have been because I think I could have gotten Diane (between Laurie and I) to lose some pride with me. She is one of the coolest people I think I've ever met. Diane I totally forgive you for ruining my reunion with Laurie at the airport because you're so fabulous. It's been a while since someone has appreciated me for my potty mouth ;)

I was a little shameless when I gave cow pee as my door prize, but it was Laurie's fault for egging me on. I can't back down from a dare so I did get up in front of a room full of Mormon women at the BYU Wilkinson Center and talk about urinating. Discretion...what does that mean?

I also met Sally and her sister Robin, (I totally stole this picture from Robin's blog...hope you don't mind, you both look fantastic by the way). You guys are witty and funny as hell! I saw Sally at the airport going home, but was running way late and almost missed my plane so I couldn't chat with her, but if I could have I totally would have. Apparently she is too good for a blog and uses the excuse of safety to not have one. I told her she should just take pictures of her kids feet and use nick names. She SAID it was a cute idea and she would think about it so I'm proposing a blogcott (blog+boycott=blogcott...get it?) if she doesn't start one soon. Who's with me??

I don't even know what to label this one. We came out of the movie Iron Man, which was great, and as we're walking into the restroom to relieve ourselves we see these girls at the mirror. I almost didn't make it to the pot. Laurie and I were trying to figure out how to take a picture and Melissa came up with idea to pose for a pic right outside the bathroom. It was HYSTERICAL!! Can you see how big the hair is? It's just impressive!

After that we decided to go to the local Wal-Mart and see what else we could find. This one is definitely No Self Control, we just couldn't help ourselves. I tried taking a few pictures but I kept missing. It was seriously disappointing. I did get this one where Laurie and Melissa were pretending to pose with a shirt for Drake. I don't think you can tell but that's a dude, it took some effort to figure it out, to the left of Melissa and the other dude is standing like a chick. What is wrong with kids these days and where are their parents?

Here's Laurie laying on the floor of Wal-Mart exhausted from our effort to take pictures of weird looking people. Shameless.

Laurie needed to get some G's and Melissa pulled up to a shopping center. It was my turn to wig out. In Texas you have to go to the Temple so it really weirded me out. I mean anyone could walk in and check it out. Don't get me started on the Dressed in White store next door.

Melissa's new neighbor is building this monstrosity and covering up their view. We decided to go check it out, but to get in you have to walk that little plank over the deep ditch. Laurie was taking baby steps and holding Melissa's hand so I of course made fun of her. When it was my turn I started picturing Laurie falling off so then I had to take baby steps...it was a lot funnier than it sounds. You had to be there.

Here we are making ourselves at home and strutting our stuff.

This is getting entirely too long so I'll stop here and post the rest tomorrow, or the next day or whenever I get around to it. Maybe I'll wait until after Sally's first post!

Projects Projects Projects!

2008-04-27T13:15:00.004-05:00

I have been crossing off so many things on my to do list lately that I'm impressing even myself.

Laurie gave me this cool key for Christmas and it took me a while but I finally hung it and it looks fantastic!

While I was hanging things I put up my belt rack so I could put my favorite belt buckle on display. I dated a guy for a few weeks and this was the best part of that whole experience :)I also hung up my car keys and took off the ridiculously large stickers the builder put up. It was a warning not to close the garage door on kids. If I needed a sticker to tell me that I'm in more trouble than a sticker is going to fix!
You can hardly see it, but I used to have a crappy white door bell, but now I have a beautiful oil rubbed bronze door bell that matches my door knob. It didn't fit when I first tried to install it so I had to chisel a hole in my house, but it was well worth it. Is it wrong that I get so much enjoyment out of a door bell?
before after

I added these plants with purple flowers between the pond and the dwarfed monkey grass and turned the fountain water purple!
before after

This weekend my Dad came up to stay with us and we put him to work leveling our yard.

My name is Lisa, and I have a problem. I can't leave my yard alone. My neighbors that I thought were anal are now looking at me like I'm the freak. I swear that THIS is that last thing we'll do. Well maybe the last big thing...I need help.

I've thought about it and I've come to the conclusion that we spend so much time and effort on the yard because we don't have kids and there's really not a whole lot to do here in College Station. The house and yard is what we do on the weekends. We should probably start making friends at this point.

I have done some fun non-working things on my to do list as well. Like get a pedicure. I also got my eyebrows threaded. It's so much better than waxing!!
I even helped out my husband by going to one of his fairs to man the table while he was off presenting. I met some interesting/slightly scary people and had a good time pretending to know what I was talking about. Here we are coming home late that night.

I've been feeling all sort of accomplished lately. I even got a job by accident. I'll be training with a guy who has his own business. It's what I was trying to do on my own but I don't know anybody rich enough to afford my services. I'll start next week when I get back from Utah. Laurie's talked me into going to the blogger hoopla up there. It should be a great time and I'm sure I'll have some good stuff to post about.

What Cartoon Character Are You?

2008-04-21T17:05:00.007-05:00

I've been telling Laurie for sometime that Drake is the cartoon character Stewie from Family Guy. Stewie is a toddler so none of the other characters can understand him, but he talks in a britsh accent and he's always trying to escape the clutches of his Mom so he can take over the world. Drake can't talk, but he will give you these looks and you know he's saying something that involves a 4 letter word. I've tried to tell Laurie that he's the real life version of Stewie, but she's never seen Family Guy.
I was on the phone with her the other day and she was pulling weeds in the backyard with Drake. We're having a nice conversation when all of the sudden she screams 'Drake stabbed me!' There was muffled yelling then she gets back on the line and says that she was using a butter knife to pull the weeds with and Drake got a hold of it and while she was kneeling down he came over and tried to stab her in the back....literally! I couldn't help it...I busted out laughing. I totally had a mental picture of Drake as Stewie trying to off Laurie so he could finally escape. I finally found this clip so she can see what I'm talking about.

Family Guy - Stewie Compilation Funny Jokes at JibJab

Over the past few weeks Drake has learned how to open the front door and has made 3 attempts to break free with mild success. Poor Laurie, if Drake doesn't finish her off, I'm sure the stress alone will put her in the looney bin. Do you have a cartoon character in your house?

Family Bonding

2008-04-10T12:18:00.005-05:00

Laurie's been asking me to post, but I bet after this she'll wish she hadn't ;)

While Scott and I were up there visiting her we got in the car to go out and when she started it there was this ear piercing screech! Scott and I thought it was going to burst into flames at any moment, but Laurie was trying to play it off like it wasn't that bad so I got a video of it.

Seriously Laurie. Your hearing is going to be damaged if you don't get that fixed soon.

I did Drakes hair that morning and I even got a stoned look to match the Mohawk :)

We had a great day and Drake fell asleep right before we went to lunch so Laurie finally got a little break from the hurricane that is Drake.

The next day we all went and saw Davis and Dylan at lunch. They were so excited. Can you tell by their smiles? It is us their excited about right....or is it the Sonic we brought?

But not everyone had a good time :(

We all had a great time. Scott kept the kids busy so Laurie and I got uninterrupted relaxing time together. This was the first time I've gone that we didn't do a project so from now on I'm taking Scott with me ;)

Man-A-Kin

2008-03-30T18:10:00.001-05:00

I had a basketball tournament at church and I'm the person that always gets hurt, by no fault of my own of course. We played 2 games and the first one I dove for the ball and ripped off a scab and there was blood everywhere!! It hurt like what I imagine child birth would be ;)

The second game I was tripped while on a fast break and I was going down on the same elbow so I tucked it in and landed HARD on my hip. I've got a HUGE NASTY bruise. I was going to take a picture of that too but it's a little too low for public viewing.

Scott and I usually work out or do something active but since I was out of commission we came up with something else to do :)

Since Scott has been living with me I've noticed that his wardrobe consists of one style shirt in 3 different colors. It really sad. I've been making fun of him for a while now and he finally relented and let me take him to the mall just to try on clothes to find him a new style. I was shocked! But it got even better because he said I could bring my camera!! We, or more importantly I, had a blast. I made him try on all sorts of stuff and he put on 90% of the things I asked him to. I tried to get him to pose but he said I was pushing my luck.

It's Trendy-Scott! These are my favorite. I caught him trying to pose in the second one. Poser!

It's Metro-Scott! He's wearing linen pants in these and I thought he looked fantastic, but he said he wouldn't be caught dead in them.

It's Trany-Scott! I couldn't believe he tried these on because these are the 'girliest' outfits I could find. Man-pri's and a girly shirt...so fantastic! He said the jeans were girl jeans because they were tight on his thighs and flared at the bottom.

It's Macho-Scott! He is looking pretty tough with his bulging biceps.

I got this video of him, but recorded it the wrong way and I can't figure out how to rotate it :( It's too funny not to post though. It shows how much fun we were having. At this point the store clerks were getting involved and brought us the hat and "Kayne" glasses.

I had such a good time playing with my Ken doll! He was such a great sport about it that I bought him the green shirt as a reward.

I'm So Behind!!

2008-03-27T17:05:00.007-05:00

I've got so much to blog about I don't know where to start. I feel like most of my posts lately have just been - I did this and that and went here, but life has just been crazy. It's come down to sleep or blog?? A no brainer for me, but I have missed blogging. So here we go...

When I got home from Utah 2 weeks ago I was home for 2 days and then Billy and I went up to Dallas for Drakes 2nd birthday. Laurie posted about it and said she kept it simple...I don't even know what to say to that. Nothing with Laurie is ever simple, fabulous - yes, simple - NO! I was on a ladder with thumb tacks and construction paper that we made into a castle and cutting out laminated Backyardigans. All for 2 guests who were also 2 years old!!! She's crazy! It was fun though. Drake got some great loot and was super cute looking clueless during most of it. One of his little friends, Emily, came up to me and tried to touch my cold sore :( She asked if I got hurt and was so concerned about it that I wasn't even annoyed that she kept staring at it. It was a rock'n party and even the dog got into it!

We came home late Sunday night and I got a call Monday morning from my brother asking if I could come down to Houston to help with their kids. My poor sister-in-law is struggling with post pardom depression. She ended up coming to my house and we spent Tuesday having fun at the bounce,

the park and bowling.Isn't Jordan cute in his bowling shoes! I didn't know they came this small.
We all went back to her house and I stayed there until Thursday night. I had a great time playing with my niece and nephew. I'm the aunt that doesn't say no and teaches them things only an aunt can. I'm glad I'm in a position to be able to help. I know I babysit quite a bit for my family, but it's given me the opportunity to get to know my siblings and their spouses better. I know I'm a better person for it and hopefully a better Mom someday.

I didn't move off the couch all day Friday and on Saturday Laurie and her boys came down for Easter and to hear Scott give his homecoming talk. My ward was having a carnival on Saturday and it was a ton of fun! Laurie, of course, already blogged about this too. The boys and I wore her out and here she is drooling on my hide-a-bed with her 3 pillows...so high maintenance :)Freakishly early Sunday morning we drove to Houston to hear Scott's talk. He did an amazing job! His talked about forgiveness and related a few missionary experiences that applied. He even sang a song! I was really impressed. When we got home we tried to take Easter pictures, but the kids weren't feeling it...
It was a little bright outside so we brought them inside, but it didn't help any. Jordan was going to town looking for boogers. Barry stood up for his kid and followed suit, which started a whole nose picking marathon. Can you see where Jordan gets it from?
Laurie tried to be feminine about it.
Scott used his middle finger, which he swore later on was on accident.
My Mom wouldn't do it so I tried to get her to stick jelly beans up her nose instead, but she wouldn't do it until I did. Billy was supportive as always.Mom (who has started her own blog) finally agreed, but only if the jelly beans matched her outfit!
It was a great Easter! We ended it with an egg hunt in the backyard, which turned into a game of 500 (throwing the football) and I threw it to Scott but it went over his head and hit Davis in the face so Laurie had to defend his honor and beat me up. Why do all our family functions have to end in pain?
Laurie dropped us off at home at 5 and Billy and I were asleep by 5:30. I think I could have slept til morning, but Billy got us up at 9 and we stayed up til midnight before we went back to sleep.

That catches me up to this week, which has been pretty low key. I did do something fun with Scott, but I save that for my next post.

What Flavor Gum Are You

2008-03-22T15:51:00.002-05:00

You Are Wintergreen Flavored Gum

You are laid back, low maintenance, and super cool.

You go with the flow, and you never cause too much of a fuss.

You are very in touch with nature and the world around you.

You prefer to keep things simple. Complexity stresses you out.

You are a very real person. Openness and honesty are important to you.

You can be friends with almost anyone, as long as they tell it like it is.

What Flavor Gum Are You?

I Had A Blast Babysitting!

2008-03-15T00:01:00.000-05:00

*WARNING FREAKISHLY LONG POST*

James & Cissa left Saturday afternoon and I took Tiago & Tiffany to McDonald's to celebrate. Tiago takes such good care of Tiffany, it was really cute. When we got home they wanted to wrestle because Uncle Escouche did while he was there so I threw them around and beat them up a little. I put Tiffany down for her nap and told Tiago it was quiet time so we played the computer. After 10 minutes he asked me what else he could do and I told him he could watch a movie, play with his toys or take a nap. He thought for a moment and said 'I guess I’ll take a nap'. WHAT?? He took himself upstairs and I didn’t hear from him for an hour and a half. I only said a nap as wishful thinking, I didn't think he'd actually pick it!

James & Cissa got to go see Cirque de Soleil in Vegas and I was so jealous that I took the kids to the Orem Circus Saturday night. I went back and forth all day, not sure I could handle both kids on my own, but they were great. At one point they were more interested in the chairs they were sitting in than the circus that was going on.

I was a little worried when the circus started that it was going to suck. It started with 2 Mexican clowns coming out, one on each side of the arena, and they threw a beach ball into the crowd. The crowd would get all excited like it was filled with money and hit it back to him, just to have him hit it back to us again. This went on for about 10 minutes. 10 loooooong minutes. Tiago and Tiffany weren’t any more impressed than I was. I was just starting to wonder if the kids would care if we left when the Mexican clowns left and the lights were dimmed and the tight rope walkers came out. There were 3 circles and a few times there were performers in all 3.
The down side was that the Mexican clowns kept coming out in between acts and they spoke in a heavy Mexican accent so Tiago kept asking me what they said and I didn’t know. There were hula hoop skanks, contortionists and scantily clad acrobats. I was disappointed with how little clothing most of them wore. This is a family circus for goodness sakes. One lady came out in a flesh colored suit with purple glitter stars over her nipples. I felt like yelling this is the circus not the strip club. Although after her act it would actually have been better with a pole. By the middle it got pretty good when they brought out the horse trainers that jump on and off and around the horses, the elephants and these people…

OUCH!! Then they called for an intermission??? Since when do circuses have intermissions? It was 45 minutes long and they brought out the elephant, pony and camel rides. I’m sure it was fun for the people who paid the extra money to go on them but for the rest of us watching them go in slow circles for 30 minutes and then watch the carnies clean up all the poop afterwards wasn’t such a good time. I did try to get a picture of the elephant's naughty parts when it got a little too excited while giving the kids a…ride :) I wouldn't normally blog about this, but I couldn't laugh with anyone about it so I had to share. Lucky you!Tiago thought it was funny when the carnies had to come in during an act to clean up the poop. The camel let loose 3 times during his 6 minute act. It must have been nerves :)I got the kids these light up swords so they could hit the annoying people in front of us to keep me entertained during the boring parts and Tiffany didn’t disappoint. I think she hit them 4 times and one of them was on purpose. It was great. James was right on when he named her Tiffany Lisa because she definitely takes after me.
When we got home Tiffany laid down on the stairs and went to sleep, but Tiago was wired! I finally got him in bed but at 1AM he came in to my room and got in bed with me. I was too tired to care and paid for it later when he kept ending up side ways with his feet in my face. When I woke up in the morning I had a cold sore on my lip. Now I'm not blaming Tiago, but it does seem like quite a coincidence. If that's not believable I got him to pose for this picture. Sunday night my vacation friend, Melissa, invited us over for dinner at 5. I showed up at what I thought was 5, but was really 6. Dadgum day light savings. She was smiling as big as I've ever seen for the first 10 minutes I was there until she told me. Punk!

We had Hawaiian Haystacks for dinner and it was fantastic! I'd been living on cereal and McDonald's so it was extra yummy. She went all out for me and even made a center piece for the table. She's not super crafty so I was extra impressed.

All the kids played great together while the adults played Super Scrabble. I suck at spelling but I liked it a ton better than regular Scrabble. I don't think Melissa will ever let me forget how bad I did, but it was pretty funny and turn about is fair play. Thanks for having us over and giving me some adult conversation!

Monday was super easy with the kids watching movies while I cleaned up. That evening I stopped by an old friends house hoping she still lived there and she did. It was so great to catch up and I hope we stay in touch this time. James and Cissa came home that night bearing gifts!

Thanks so much for my M&M stuff and I loved spending time with your kids!!

Gotta Love A Good Theme Song

2008-03-13T17:39:00.006-05:00

I know I still need to blog about my weekend watching my brothers kids, but I've been getting pretty good traffic not posting about it with everyone waiting in anticipation so I'm going to hold off for one more day ;)

No really, Laurie blogged about my Dad getting his 2nd divorce and gave it a theme song and I couldn't wait to post my song.

I was going to go with Britney Spear's 'Oops I did it again', especially because my Dad's soon to be ex-wife seems to be going through an identity crisis just like Britney, but the video was about Mars...does any one get that, because I don't.

Then I was going to go with something more serious like Chris Daughtry's 'Over You' because it really does fit and I love the line 'I never saw it coming, I should have started running a long long time ago.' It's a little too serious though.

I found this Divorce song, which is hilarious but has nothing to do with my Dad's situation. I debated on whether or not to post the video because there are probably some of you that will be slightly offended by it because of the crude humor. I went ahead and did it because I know Crazy Mama will love it ;)

Then I found this Dr. Pepper commercial set to the song 'I would do anything for love.' It's perfect!!

Of course, my Dad isn't getting divorced over a Dr. Pepper. It should be 'I would do anything for love, but I won't stay married to my recent anti-mormon wife, who is moving her pregnant daughter (who doesn't know who the father is) into my 1 bedroom apartment.

It caught us all by surprise and I'm sorry my Dad has to go through this, but we all love him and will always be there for him.

Party Over Here!

2008-03-07T22:09:00.008-06:00

My oldest brother, James, called me about a month ago and asked if I would come to Utah to babysit his two kids while he and his wife spend their wedding anniversary in Vegas. We all know I can't say no so I've been in Springville, UT for 3 days now. James wasn't able to come down for Scott's homecoming so I got Scott a ticket to come with me. I kept it a secret from James and I think as retaliation FOR Scott he showed up 30 minutes late to pick me up, but in reality he just made the rest of us look better since we were only 20 minutes late. Poor Scott was hanging out in the airport for the 2nd time in a week. I've come to believe Scott is just cursed.
We've had such a great time. It started on the airplane where I lost my first class seat because of the morons that work in College Station, but it worked out because Scott and I got to sit together and we actually talked the entire flight. I was pleasantly surprised. It was great to get to know the new and improved Scott. I really have come to believe that he isn't going to go back to the kid he was before his mission and after some reminiscing, thank goodness, because he was really kind of a...is dick a curse word? We talked about how he changed and why and what kind of person he wants to be from here on out. I think it's great and I'm trying to encourage and support him so I've been on my best behavior...around him at least.

We got to spend all day Wednesday with James and his fun family. His wife, Cissa, who's from Brazil and their 2 kids, Tiago (James in Portuguese) and Tiffany, who speak both English and Portuguese. I started calling Scott, Uncle Escouche (Scott in Portuguese). I even got Tiago to start calling him that, it was too funny. We went out to eat, and shopped for Jame's birthday, which was Wednesday. Here we are at Toy's R Us and Tiffany was loving running me over in the fire truck. Before we left the store Scott had to show off his mad skills at getting the stuffed animal with the claw thing. He got the leprechaun on the first try. We were all very impressed!
The next day Scott and I spent the day watching movies and playing with the kids. Out of the 6 movies Scott has seen Step Up is his favorite. I'm not kidding! I'll let you guess why ;)
I haven't seen him that relaxed since he's been home. He even taught Tiago how to shake his money maker. I pitched a fit until he let me get it on video!!

Who knew all he needed was some booty shaking to loosen up ;)

Scott left at 5:30 AM today and guess who drew the short straw and got to take him to the airport at 4:30 this morning? Lets just say I'm the best sister ever. James and Cissa leave for Vegas tomorrow and then it's just me and the kids...is any one else nervous?

A New Low...Even For Us

2008-03-02T21:02:00.004-06:00

I'm embarrassed to even write this post. I wasn't going to, but I think my poor little brother deserves some kind of praise for putting up with us.

We had a plan. It was a good plan. But like most plans it went from good to bad to why did we even try.

Laurie and Drake were amazing and drove 4 hours to my brothers house where we all met to head to the airport. We were all there by 7:30 and his flight got in at 9. You would think that this would be enough time to get to the airport, but I'm ashamed to say it wasn't. I got a friend to come babysit (THANKS SUZ!!) for the kids and we wanted them in bed before we left. That took a little bit longer than we thought and then as we're getting ready to go Billy checked the flight status. His flight was coming in 15 minutes early!! Which at that point was in about 10 minutes. My brother lives 30 minutes from the airport. If you can do simple math you can see that even if his flight came on time we STILL would have been 5 minutes late.

The unspeakable happened and we, all 7 of us, missed him coming off the plane.

We also missed him at baggage claim....

We also missed him going back up to where we should have been, then back down to baggage claim, back up and finally back down before we finally got there.

Welcome home Scott! My Dad yells as we see him wandering around the airport with his 3 suitcases. Where have you been, Scott yells. You knows us, is really all that needs to be said :(

We were in 2 cars and I dropped my car load off at passenger pick up while the other car went and parked. Half of us were there 20 minutes late and then a few minutes later the other half screaming through baggage claim show up red faced and panting.

This sign should have said "Don't Worry, It Can't Get Much Worse Than This!"

We are officially the worst family EVER. On the way out my brother says good bye to the homeless guy missing his legs that he apparently had time to be-friend in our absence.

As we're driving home Laurie says 'On the up side his expectations have to be so low that we can only go up from here.' I wish I can say we redeemed ourselves, but it actually got worse from there. At least at the airport we could apologise, laugh and make fun of each other. Once we all got home the silence began.

It was painful is all I remember. Silence became the norm and thank goodness there was pizza because without the sound of chewing the continued silence would have become awkward. There were spurts of what could almost be considered conversation.

What was your favorite part of your mission? The work

Who was your favorite companion? Elder Jones

Why? He was fun

What was your favorite area...

You get the idea. I'm not sure if he was getting us back for the airport, if he was in shock or if he was channeling Dorthy and concentrating so hard on clicking his heels that he could only spare us one word answers. In between the one word answers, chewing and silence my older brother and I made complete asses of ourselves. It came up that we use bad language...(who me?) and under the pressure of trying to come up with something to talk about we may have used some bad language in a really funny way, but for some reason Scott wasn't laughing. I'm not sure if they erased his memory or if he tried to forget but unfortunately we're still the same people he left 2 years ago, and I distinctly felt like he was disappointed by that.

Finally my sister-in-law stands up and announces it's bed time. We all planned to spend the night thinking we would be up really late talking...

I'm sorry we sucked on so many levels Scott! Maybe with your help we can see the light, stop being late and never use a bad word again :)

ALMOST HOME!!

2008-02-26T23:24:00.004-06:00

My brother is coming home from his 2 year church mission today!!!

His flight isn't coming in until late tonight, but I couldn't wait to post about it. My family has of course been talking about what he's going to be like when he gets home and I'm making a prediction. I bet that he is going to be freakishly anal about the rules because he won't be released from his duties until tomorrow night and then it's going to get awkward. I predict that he won't watch any movies or do anything remotely fun. When he left he was rowdy and mean like the rest of us and then he went and became a full fledged rule abiding respectful missionary and long gone is the brother I once loved to fight with.

I got to talk with him over Christmas and he said I had 7 minutes and since you can't tell me what to do I spent a few of them asking what the hell had happened to him and he totally called me on it instead of participating. He cut me off and said 'I'd like our last conversation to be a pleasant one.' I thought it was pretty enjoyable, which brings me to my current prediction. He's either completely forgotten what I'm like or he thinks a little thing like a good example is going to change my sunny disposition. Boy is he in for a rude awakening ;)

I really am excited though even if he is a stickler for the rules. It's been amazing to read his letters and see the transformation. Who knew a member of my family could make such strides without being threatened. I'll even try and not corrupt him...at least for a few days!

How have your return missionaries been??

2 Posts In 1 Day!!!

2008-02-19T19:28:00.005-06:00

I've been on such a high from my pretty trees that I thought I'd try and perty up my existing nasty tree. For those of you not from Texas perty is pretty with an accent.

Billy wasn't home so I had to tie 'er up to make sure I didn't get whacked. Sucker was heavy!!

I'm addicted at this point. By tomorrow night I'm not sure what's going to be left of that tree :)

Before I got entangled in my tree I treated myself to a movie for all the hard work I've done.

I saw Definitely, Maybe.

I'm conflicted about this one because I love me some Ryan Reynolds.
It was enjoyable to watch.
The acting was good.
On the other hand Ryan plays a Bill Clinton supporter so it's more political than I was expecting and am I paranoid or is Bill's wife currently running for President?? For me that set the tone for the rest of the movie. Ryan picks up his daughter from school where the school has taught sex education without parental consent and there's talk of penis, vagina and thrusting...

The whole premise of a Dad telling his young daughter of his past relationships including smoking, drinking, sex and cheating isn't my idea of a smart move. They make it funny and you laugh and then you're like....but that wouldn't be funny if it were my kid.

I guess it was just a bum deal that he's getting divorced and the happy ending in this chick flick is just when you think he and his wife are going to make it work he signs the divorce papers and falls back in love with an ex making his family a broken one with a new step Mom for his daughter. I know that it is technically a happy ending, but I don't go see chick flicks for real life drama. I want fairy tale happy endings or I'd go see a movie that won an award.

To top it off after the movie I make a pit stop a the restroom and as I'm squating there another person comes in, sits down and drops a bomb!! I'm talking about starting it off with a juicy fart then continuing on to the loud main course and ending with what I hope was more air than substance. I thought for a second that maybe I went into the Men's room by accident but I didn't.

What is the world coming to when chick flicks have real endings and women sound like men in the public restroom? And why isn't the spel cheker workin? How am I suposed to blog coherenty witout it?

I'm In LOVE!

2008-02-19T13:55:00.004-06:00

Billy had yesterday off for Presidents Day and in honor of all the hard work the Presidents have done I made Billy do some good old fashion manual labor. He helped me plant 4 Crate Myrtles and 2 Italian Cypress trees. You can't really see the Crate Myrtles because they are just sticks but when they bloom in a month or two they will be purple, white, purple and white. It took ALL day long but I think it is fabulous.

This is the before picture...

This is AFTER!!!

I am so in love with the Italian Cypress trees!!!! I was dancing a jig all afternoon :)

Everything looks so great from the road but when you walk up to the door I have the massive empty porch. Any ideas on what I should do??

I Need Your Help

2008-02-01T09:22:00.000-06:00

I need some help from all of you Mom's about a bootcamp I'm trying to get started. It's going to meet outdoors, probably at a neighborhood park, and it will mainly consist of body weight exercises. I'll probably use bands for some upper body training, but it will mostly be an hour of running, lunging, pushups, squats and crunches. I'm going to use this as my advertising for small group and 1 on 1 personal training.

I want it to be cheap and convenient. I want people who normally wouldn't do this otherwise, but it's such a great deal that it's a no brainer.

So with your schedule what would be the best day and time? Weekday or weekend, morning or night?? More importantly, how much? If you’re not someone who would do this, what would the price have to be to get you to do it??

Don't be shy and I won't be offended by you trying to rip me off either ;) I really want to know and the more honest you are the more you'll be helping me.

THANKS!!!

Why I'm Probably Lying

2008-01-26T23:37:00.000-06:00

Lindsey tagged me about explaining how I came up with my blog title....

My name is Lisa, and I'm a liar. I believe that to you have to be able to laugh at yourself and others...and I just happen to like the latter more. I prefer when people laugh at my jokes and with a proper embellishment here and a polite lie there I become funny and witty and really...it's all about me.

I think when you're looking to be offended you will be, so instead I look to laugh and I have to say you folks make it easy. I'm all about a good story and if I have to embellish a little the more fun it is for me.

Lying is really my most wasted talent. Being an upstanding citizen really puts a damper on the sheer volume of lying I do. I like to think of it as being creative. While some of you scrapbook, paint or do something to contribute to the growth of society I like to think I'm doing my part in bring the second coming that much closer. We all have our parts to play and my Mom always said if your going to do something make sure your the best and everybody else knows it.

Now it's your turn. What inspired your blog title...
Laurie
Jen
Jill
and anyone else who's up to the challenge!

What I Wish I Knew

2008-01-23T12:44:00.000-06:00

Here in College Station, as you would imagine, there is always an influx of people at the beginning of the semester and on Sunday I noticed several new young couples and one of them introduced themselves and said they've been married for 2 weeks and it's gotten me thinking this past week about the last 4 years of my marriage. I know 4 years is nothing but those first few months seem like a lifetime ago. I was looking at this chic and thinking about what I've gone through and learned since then and I started making a list of things that I wish someone had told me then to make married life a little easier. It goes something like this....

Separate sinks are not negotiable...forget about the dadgum toothpaste and just get your own.

There are men things and there are your man things, you don't have a shot in hell of changing the things they all do...safety in numbers and all that.

Black draws make laundry less shocking...ignorance really is bliss. Your not a true control freak until you married...that's when you learn your true limits.

The more hibidy-dibidy, horizontal tango, whatever you want to call it, they get the better husbands they are so get used to it...damn love language.

Compromise is not a nice flowery word that gives you hope of getting most of what you want, but it usually is for him...I haven't figured that one out yet.

From what I can tell that whole 'pick your battles' thing only applies to kids. Pick all the of them with your spouse because they don't go away they just get bigger. Fighting them with anger doesn't work though so involve more hibidy-dibidy and statistically you'll come out on top ;)

+ = YOU WIN

DON'T EVER EVER EVER live with your in-laws. I don't care how much money you'll save or how nice she is before you move in...DON'T DO IT!!

Everyone may not agree with these but they work for us...

Have separate and mutual assets. My car is in my name, I have my own credit card, I have my own IRA and he has his and then we have our big stuff together. I won't ever be stuck because I don't have money or a good credit score or retirement. If I'm married it's because I want to be, not because I have to be. I think it gives both of us security in knowing if something happened to either one of us the other would be OK or if we didn't make it we would both still be OK. I think you have to not only hope, but work for the best but plan for the worst.

I have spy ware installed on both computers and he knows it but doesn't have access to it. I don't block anything but at any time I can look and see what the activity has been on the computers. Billy is on the computer all the time with work, fantasy whatever the season is and political sites and I like to go to bed early so it's not unusual for Billy to come to bed late. I can sleep well knowing that I don't have to worry about what ifs and he wants me to know that there's nothing to worry about.

Lastly, if you can't say something nice don't say until you can say it in a nice way. Notice I didn't say don't say it all...I'm not looking to be a martyr. I look back and see how stupid I can get. I come from a family of survival of the fittest and, while marriage sometimes seems that way, I've learned it is what you make of it and put into it. If I put in hostility then I get hostility...usually in the form of the toilet seat being up or embarrassing comments in front of my family. If I put in patience and respect then I it back and he doesn't complain when I blog about him :)

Poor Billy and I are living on a learning curve, but hopefully we'll learn enough, fast enough not to just survive but to thrive. What did you wish you knew??

27 Dresses

2008-01-18T18:24:00.000-06:00

I went out on this cold rainy Friday to see the movie 27 Dresses and the theater was packed!

I always go to movies during the week and I try for the first showing so it's usually me and a blue hair or two which is just the way I like it. Today I was at the first showing and when I got there I had to actually look for a seat. It was almost sold out!

I read some of the reviews it got and overall they weren't good...

Welcome to 2008, an enlightened time when women aren't obsessed with weddings and willing to waste years of their lives secretly pining for male-genitalia-having blocks of wood; a time of assertive, interesting, vibrant women who've absorbed the lessons of their hippie feminist mothers and realized that no man who uses them and lies to them and publicly humiliates them is worth one more second of however much time he's been given. Except in this movie, which takes place in Crazy Backwards Shallow Values Land and where everyone's a moron.

OUCH! What they are saying is you are either an anti-marriage feminist or a shallow moron...decisions, decisions.

Entertainment Weekly said "white-lace porn for girls of every age."

EWWWW! Who says something like that?

What is it about movie reviews? Do they only get printed if they say something completely outrageous, rude or incomprehensible??

I thought it was a great movie. Katherine Heigl is beautiful as always, but honestly I'm sick of her on Grey's...George is no ones McAnything. But in this she's fantastic! I know a chic flick won't be nominated for anything because you don't walk out wanting to slit your wrists but she was fresh and sincere.

I've always been a fan of Edward Burns and he's the guy that you just love to love.

What was surprising was James Marsden. Who? That's right, he's the career side kick, meaning the guy who always gets dumped, but makes his leading man debut and nails it!!

When you see it let me know what you think.

Movie Review

2008-01-16T22:56:00.000-06:00

I'm still in Dallas with Laurie. I figured I could use some pampering before I head home and Laurie has been a great host. On a side note, Drake, the little shitake mushroom, has slept through the night, until 5ish, since they have been back. I'm headed home tomorrow so Laurie talked me into going to see the movie Atonement tonight and against my better judgement I went. I have a rule that any movie that's nominated for awards I don't see.

Don't let the trailer fool you. It went from slow to graphic to depressing to something worse than depressing to pointless. Most of the reviews seem to be positive but I did find one, by a guy...shocker, that agreed with me...

"The film, after a tantalizing start, sputters to a halt in a welter of grandiose imagery and hurtling montage. In the transition from hothouse psychodrama to historical pseudo-epic, that “Atonement” runs aground, losing dramatic coherence and intellectual focus."

I don't know what the hell that means, even though I'm pretty sure it is in English, but I think he's saying it sucked and is only getting nominated because it makes you suicidal.

If you're looking for a flick that makes you want to cry out of boredom, blush from weird sex with the 13 year old watching or scream at the injustice of a child's imagination then this is the movie for you!

Sunday Shout Outs!

2008-01-13T20:56:00.000-06:00

I don't know if it's sleep deprivation or all the Dr. Pepper I've had to counter act the sleep deprivation but I couldn't stop thinking about the following things and I wanted to give them a shout out.

Mom's. I know it's different with your own, and thank goodness for that, but this whole motherhood thing is hard. I was trying not to fall asleep in church and I was thinking about how being a temporary Mom has brought out a side that I'm not so proud of...lets call it the natural man since it's Sunday. I can say the my natural WOman is the most prevalent between the hours of 3-7AM. This morning I told Drake I hated him. Do I get a pass because it was 5:45 and he can't understand me? No? I did try to atone for my behavior that afternoon but I couldn't tell if Drake forgave me or not. He gave me his trade mark 'go to hell look' so it doesn't look good. I think you Mom's out there ROCK! Everyone does it differently and some do it better than others but it's hard work and all you get in return are those rare moments between poopy diapers and screaming fits where they actually do what you say the first time without being threatened and even more rare when they do what you've taught them without being asked. It's a thankless job and I already look forward to retirement (aka being a grandma).

Mom's who take one for the team and smell the laundry because their kids clean their rooms by throwing everything in the laundry basket. I had the boys clean their rooms and bring all their laundry downstairs and as the pile got bigger and bigger I took a wild shot in the dark and guessed that not everything was dirty but that it was easier to put it in the laundry than put it away. How did I come up with this clever assessment...I did it when I was a kid after the room under Laurie's bed was full. The thought did occur to me as I saw that there were 13 pair of jeans for 3 boys that I should smell them and send the clean clothes back upstairs for school tomorrow. But then I thought...what if they are dirty and I smell them? I ended up just doing all the laundry for Laurie so they have clothes to wear and no one has to play russian roulette with dirty boy clothes.

Laurie's kids. When I was at church I talked to several people and as they asked how things were going I may have only talked about how tired I was and how clingy Drake is. While that is true the boys were fantastic! They just caught me on the last day and I hadn't had enough caffeine at that point. Davis has been a super star. Even with the 5AM wake up call every morning he wakes up, takes his pill and goes back to bed. I don't know if he's that good for Laurie or if he heard some of my early morning time with Drake and learned from Drakes mistakes. Honestly, he did what I asked when I asked and even policed Dylan much to Dylan's displeasure. Tonight at the table Davis told Dylan he needed to work on his anger problem...I almost spit out my food! Dylan was great up until today. I think he's just ready for his Mom and Dad to come home...which I can relate to ;) I don't know what to say about Drake. That kid is a walking contradiction. He wants to be held non-stop, but I don't think he likes me half the time. He'll puts his hands up to be held so I pick him up but then he's stiff as a board and scowls at me but if I try to put him down he keeps his feet up. If I'm not holding him he's following me around. It will be very interesting once the little guy starts talking...because if his looks are any indication he'll know more 4 letter words than I do in no time! I will say though that when he is happy and likes me he is the cutest damn kid you've ever seen. He's got these pointy vampire teeth and when he laughs they show so even then you're waiting for him to go Jeckle and Hyde on you. Never a boring day in the Turk house!

The chorister. In RS today the chorister got up and did opening song, which I've never heard before, and the poor lady wasn't getting anything from us. But instead of giving up, her hand movements just got bigger. It was like she thought if she waved her arms wider we would get the hint and stop mumbling. We didn't and at one point I expected her to take flight. She did a great job though and it's too bad she's wasting her talent, energy and love of music on all of us who couldn't care less.

Billy. While I was here busting my ever growing butt, Billy was in Houston running a marathon today. I'm sorry I couldn't be there because I definitely would have rather have been there than feeling bad about not singing for the enthusiastic chorister. My Mom went as my proxy, which was above and beyond. She said she got a picture of him panting across the finish line but she doesn't know how to get the pictures off her new camera so you'll have to wait to see them. He ran the 26 miles in a little over 5 hours! Way to go husband!!

This is a lot longer than I expected and I'll probably have writers remorse tomorrow for writing while delirious but this is what was floating around in my head today.

This Can't Be NORMAL!!

2008-01-11T17:51:00.000-06:00

I'm at Laurie's watching her kids while she and Jason are on vacation and I need some clarification because if this is normal I think my future children just got pushed back a few more years.

I got here Wed night, or more like Thursday morning at 2 AM. I had to go to my FIL's retirement party that night so Laurie got her friends to watch the kids til I got here. When I arrived Drake was up screaming :( I put him back to bed and then he woke up screaming again at 4...notice I didn't say crying. It's like a blood curdling scream that goes from 0-60 in seconds. The next time was at 4 Am and then I had to wake up again at 5 to give Davis his medication. I woke up for good at 7:15 to get the boys ready and then Drake was up at 8. Nap time was like the bright light at the end of a dark tunnel, but I had to work to get there. Drake pooped 2 times before nap time and it wasn't little guy poops...it was clear the room, 'what the hell is that', make you hold your breath poop! What is Laurie feeding that kid? Is it normal for a 3 year old to have smellier dumps than your husband?

This morning went like this:
2:45 - Banshee Drake
5:00 - Davis
6:45 - Banshee Drake but I couldn't get him back to sleep and finally Dylan told me that Laurie usually takes him down stairs when it's that bad. I didn't go back to bed.

Is it normal that a 2 year old doesn't sleep through the night? I don't know how Laurie isn't in the loony bin by now. It must be like having an infant for 2 years, plus you have to get up with Davis every morning. How does she accomplish so much during the day sleep deprived? I haven't done a blessed thing today. I finally brushed my teeth at 2:45 to go pick the boys up from school...I know that's disgusting but it's true. I'm exhausted and it's only the second day.

I know Laurie has read books and tried everything from pimping his crib to putting a heater in his room to make it warm and cozy. I'm seriously amazed by her. I couldn't get him to take a nap today either. Actually I'm kind of amazed by Drake too. That little punk can go and cling and go some more. Did I mention that he doesn't eat either?

Lastly, is it normal for kids to be such adamant liars? Dylan lost his tooth last night and I've been trying to figure out how generous I'm supposed to be tonight by asking the boys how much they've gotten in the past. When asked separately they each said $100 and after I told them they would get in trouble for lying they both came down to $50. It's like they're negotiating or something. There's no negotiating with the Tooth Fairy!! On the bright side at least they're not good liars ;)

Nasty-O-Gram

2008-01-04T01:26:00.000-06:00

I've been sick for about a week and it's the nasty flem kind of sick so I can't really smell and food tastes bland. This evening I asked Billy for a glass of milk and he brought me one which I drank with a cookie. Then a few minutes after I finished my Mom came down and got a glass and was like 'EWW that's disgusting!' I asked what was wrong thinking Billy did something to it and she said that the milk was sour. Billy started laughing and asking me if I thought it tasted bad. It tasted fine to me but my Mom insisted it was rotten. Billy has since apologized that he gave me rotten milk but I think he secretly thinks it's hilarious. Paybacks a bitch.

What's Your Recipe?

2007-12-29T11:06:00.000-06:00

The Recipe For Lisa

3 parts Craftiness
2 parts Slyness
1 part Creativity

Splash of Wisdom

Shake vigorously

What's the Recipe for Your Personality?

I am pretty sly and smart...how do the quizes know me so well??

Movie Review

2007-12-21T23:38:00.000-06:00

I saw the movie P.S. I Love You today and it rocked!

I'm not a big fan of crying and this is a definite tear jerker but I loved it. There are so many things in it that are true to real life but their execution is fantastic whether it's funny or sad or crazy. The opening scene is one of my favorites because I feel like I've had that fight so many times where Billy says one thing and I know he means something else and then the name calling starts ;) But throughout the whole thing you go from laughing to crying in a heart beat.

Plus the men aren't too bad to look at either ;)

It is a must see and I think I'm even going to buy it when it comes out and I think I own a grand total of 2 DVD's so that's saying something.

I'm Not Lying This Time!!

2007-12-12T16:18:00.000-06:00

I have been marking things off my to do list like crazy the past 2 weeks!!! My lawn looks so freak'n fabulous it gives me chills. When you mow rye grass you can see where the mower went and the first time I mowed the lawn it looked like I was mowing under the influence. It was really bad! So this time I made sure that I went in straight lines and the wheels stayed on the previous lines I made. I even mowed right over the empty tree bed so that my lines would stay straight. I was giddy that day it looked so damn good!!
This past week these little patches of dark green grass have popped up tainting my perfect lawn. They grow 3 times faster and they are right in the front of my lawn. I've been crazy annoyed by them.Today I went to Home Depot and took some samples and a picture and the guys there said kill it and re-seed. MEN! I would rather have dark green patches than dead brown patches. I was driving home when I saw a nursery and I stopped in and these two cute old ladies helped me out. After I told them my sad story they looked at the picture and asked if I had a dog. I don't. Then they proceeded to tell me that they were sure that the neighborhood dogs have been using my lawn as their toilet and that their...urine is fertilizing my lawn so much so that my rye grass is darker, thicker and grows like crazy. I thought they were messing with me. I don't see anyone else having super grass issues cause their lawns get peed on!! They assured me that my patches of super rye were caused by dog pee. What are my neighbors feeding their dogs?? What does one do when one's rye is on steroid pee??? Well apparently you put steroid cow pee on the rest of it to even it out!!! I'm not even making this up! I PAID for pee today!!!! I picked up the bottle by the lid and the ladies were laughing at me?! What was I supposed to do?! I thought I was being very mature about the whole thing because I was tempted to ask for gloves to pick it up.I almost asked if I could just use my own for free, but I actually do have some self control and refrained. It's wicked cold out today so I guess when it warms up a little I'll go out and pee on the rest of my yard. No one tells you these things before you pick your grass. If I had known that I would have to urinate on my lawn I would have gone with St. Augustine. Oh wait I did pick St. Augustine. Maybe I'll call my builder and have him come urinate on my lawn as punishment for giving me Bermuda. Although my lawn does look amazing. The things I'll do for a pretty lawn! I called Laurie and told about how pissed I was about the dogs pissing on my lawn and she said I should have my Mom write a poem about it and post it in my yard. I'm glad my pee mis-adventures cheered her up. If the cow pee doesn't work I'm going to make a graph and go get the dogs to pee in the right spot to fix it. What a mess!

On a less gross note, I spent a whole day last week running around town trying to find colored lights for my house. My husband and Mom were complaining about my lack of Christmas decorations that I thought this would be a good compromise. I think it's awesome!
I couldn't find any colored light bulbs for the flood lights so I bought colored rocks and put them on top of the light. How fantastic am I?
I even turned the fountain water green :)

I posted forever ago about the piece of tin I bought for my head board and I made some headway this week.

My Mom and I made the back piece and the frame for it. I painted the molding brown, but when we went to put it together my Mom hammered around the edges of the tin to flatten it out and the paint chipped off so she wants to re-paint the whole thing. I think she did it on purpose because she wasn't happy with how brown it turned out. A part of me just wants it finished but I know it will look great when she finally gets around to painting it again.

I also had a cookie exchange, but I don't cook so Laurie game me instructions for Santa Nutter Butters. It took FOREVER!!

But they turned out great and I had a fun time at the party.

Early last week I spent a few days in Dallas with Laurie helping her with all her to do's. She has way more than I do and with the kids it makes it crazy. So while she was shoe shopping I was teaching Drake the finer points of nylons.

We both got some Christmas shopping done and afterwards I showed Drake how to make use of the bags.

I didn't get much of a chance to corrupt the other 2 boys but all in good time.

Can It Get Much Worse??

2007-12-03T17:17:00.001-06:00

I was looking for a little pick me up and went to Crazy Julies blog and she took the What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You quiz and I thought 'Oh that will be funny'...

You Are a Losing Lottery Ticket!

Full of hope and promise.But in the end, a cheap letdown.

Seriously?

It's been so long!

2007-12-02T19:22:00.000-06:00

It's been so long since I've been to my own blog that I had to type in the whole address instead of it popping up after the first few letters. How sad am I? I've got excuses like I was out of town for Thanksgiving having fun with the family, then Laurie's kid got me sick and blah blah blah. Really though I've just not been in the mood. I don't know what's going on, but what happened to me yesterday pretty much sums up my life for the past month.

There is a house being built down the street and it's been the talk of the neighborhood because it is orange brick, with a red roof and had mustard yellow stucco. I'm not kidding! This thing is HIDEOUS!!

We've all been talking about it and wondering about who's building it and then the mustard yellow was repainted to peach and we started talking even more! I finally met the couple the other day and they're a very nice young Indian couple. Last night I was putting up my Christmas lights (as close as I'm willing to get to Christmas lights) and my neighbor came out and of course we started talking about THE house. Well the husband said he'd been in it and the paint on the inside was big bird yellow and mint green. His wife, my Mom and I couldn't believe it so he agreed to be our look out and we took off to go check it out for ourselves. He wasn't kidding. They have bright orange, bright yellow, poop brown, sky blue, mint green and light yellow. I will say if you can get past the color of the walls the floor plan is one of the best I've ever seen. There we were in the master bathroom and the toilet room is neon orange and we were cackling very loudly when all of the sudden this Indian guy walks around the corner!! We were horrified! It was the owner and about 6 or 7 people that came with him to see the house. We have no idea how long they were there or what they heard but we felt awful!! He gave us a tour and even mentioned that the HOA had gotten so many complaints about the mustard yellow that that's why they repainted. It was one of the most awkward experiences of my life because he was trying to be so nice but he could tell that we weren't digging the colors even though we were trying to seem like we liked them. We finally make it out alive and there is the neighbors husband laughing his ass off. Why me? I've got some seriously bad mojo out there and it all seems to be catching up it to me at once :(

Friends don’t let friends…

2007-11-13T17:22:00.000-06:00

...have bad hair-How I’ve had the same hair do for so long should attest that I do periodically have will power and can stand up to Laurie. Last time we all got together in Utah they finagled me into getting my hair colored, but this time I was ready for something new and they jumped at the chance to supervise. I’ve been trying to figure out what it is about Utah that makes everybody a hair expert cause I’ve never seen so much colored, teased, big, fake hair in my life…and I’m from Texas!
(here is my before big Texas hair)

I went to the David Douglas Salon and Leisl did an AMAZING job!! Between Laurie and I agreeing and disagreeing she was able to please us both and I made sure to give her a big tip for putting up with us. We found out that Leisl is a brand new blogger, but between the paranoia of her husband and a cop-in-law she’s private but Laurie and I campaigned as hard as we could. She’s also a Layers Stylist, how crazy is that!
(here is my new Utah do)

...wear high-waters-With my brand new do we trekked across the street to Buckle to help and confuse Melissa. She had her baby 4 months ago and was looking for a new pair of jeans. We were there for an hour making fools of ourselves and the poor employees. We shopped quite a bit and it was fun to see how different all our tastes are and make fun of how I don't have any.

...get a double chin-Melissa introduced us to caramel, white chocolate, cinnamon & sugar apples. HOLY COW they were good. Melissa has a few friends who can make them but won't pony up the recipe. I think secret recipes are stupid...although I shouldn't have been so vocal about it because my own family won't trust me with one :( We actually started working on our 3rd chins while we were there. We ate some really good food and I was awarded the best meal picker-outer...hence why I'm a personal trainer. I need it, but am too cheap to pay for it ;)

Laurie had her blogger lunch and I will freely admit to making fun of her about it, but I take most of it back because they were awesome! It was loud and fun and comfortable. I'm glad I got to tag along.

I had the best time! Laurie and I are perfect traveling buddies and I couldn't ask for a better 'vacation friend' than Melissa! I got back on Sunday and visited a friend in Houston and had a great time playing with her kid. I spent the night at my brothers house in Houston and volunteered to take the 12 and 3AM feeding for my new niece...sucker or a rock star? Monday I hung out with my sister-in-law and had a great time with my niece and nephew. I got back to my house late that night and I've been catching up and getting ready for the big enrichment tomorrow night. It's great to go out of town I just wish coming back wasn't so crazy.

Pepto Santa vs. Plaid Santa

2007-11-11T00:34:00.000-06:00

We have not stopped laughing since we got here! I couldn't wait to post this so my recap will be out of order but this is a MUST SEE.

Melissa went up stairs to say goodbye to her family so we could go to her NorthGate Mansion and watch a movie, but she left Laurie and I unsupervised. BAD decision.

We had gotten into our jammies and Laurie only brought boots and she said she looked like Santa and then she started stuffing her pillow in her pants. OH MAN!! But she couldn't do it so I tried and then it was ON!!

BRING IT...

The Mansion is amazing!! There is a theater room and it has MUMMY'S...

It was getting a little late and Laurie is obviously missing her man :)

The Best and the Worst of Times

2007-11-09T13:18:00.000-06:00

I met up with Laurie in Houston and boarded the plane to Salt Lake City, Utah. The guy in front of us couldn't believe we were so excited about going to SLC so we had to come up with something better...Here We Come Las Vegas!

As my luck would have it we were on the very last row, which happened to by the lavatory :( I don't know what the people on that plane ate but it was DISGUSTING! Don't people know plane etiquette? You only go #1!! The guy across from us was cupping the clean air and funneling it to his nose it got so bad.

We had the cutest flight attendant, Nelson (pictured above giving us the food demonstration - sorry for the bad pic). He was more like a concierge than a flight attendant. I wasn't hungry so he offered Laurie my meal, he offered to get me more ice twice and he was on the loud speaker every few minutes to inform us of the meals 99% fat free turkey, the bread manufacturer, alcoholic beverages, that the bathroom had soap and towels and the current weather. We felt like we should have tipped him when we were leaving.

One of our inside jokes is that Melissa loves Nacho Libre and we tease her about it all the time! Some of Laurie's friends were Nacho and the Nun, she borrowed their costumes and we changed in the restroom when we landed. As you can imagine we were getting the best looks from everyone! This was Melissa's reaction...

Can you see how red her face is? We had the best time!! We went to dinner and just laughed and laughed. It is going to be a great weekend!

Girls Trip!

2007-11-06T16:18:00.000-06:00

I've been busy getting my house clean, laundry done, grocery shopping, getting rid of layers and paying bills so I can have a care free weekend in Utah with Laurie. She has a friend there, Melissa, that we are going to visit. They've been friends for years and they let me tag along...as long as I keep getting Laurie plane tickets. We've been trying to do an annual girls vacation that started with a trip to NY for Laurie's birthday and has since gone down hill to a trip to Utah, then Melissa came to Texas and now we're going up there again.

When we start talking about where we are going to go it always starts out great with Chicago or LA and then ends up with your house or mine. Which by the way has never been mine...one of the few disadvantages to not having kids...or a house at all until now ;) We do have a good excuse this year though, Melissa just had kid #4, 3 boys and now a little girl. We're excited to see her and then hopefully ditch her for kid free fun...I can hope can't I? I just hope she likes her car seat more than the last new born I hung out with.
We've got some great inside jokes that we always look forward to re-enacting! If you know Laurie AT ALL then you know she is very organized...freakishly organized! In preparation for out trip she made an itinerary, but not just any itinerary, it was a book complete with a cover, pictures, maps, prices, phone numbers and, our favorite, a few pages for journal writing!! I'm not even kidding! It was very handy but Melissa and I teased Laurie the WHOLE time. For the next trip Melissa and I got together and surprised Laurie with an itinerary and someone has made one ever since. It's fantastic! What's another one? OH Laurie was pregnant at the time and her shins hurt with all the walking we did around NY. To try and help we bought those heat pads that stick to you and it was nice since it was so cold, but when we went indoors she would over heat. At one point she had to walk down a set of stairs backwards and this little old blue haired lady passed her up. We were all cracking up. I could go on but Laurie will get mad because Melissa and I tend to gang up on her, but she's just so cute about everything we can't help it. We've tried to even out the teasing so she doesn't get a complex. Here is a valiant effort on my part.

She is making it hard this trip though because she has announced a blogger lunch in Salt Lake and her 'blog crush' is coming and she's going a bit crazy. Does she really expect me to leave that alone? She even refers to her a her blog crush AND one of the other bloggers has told her that Laurie is her blog crush...seriously! I'll try my hardest but a person can only take so much!

I am VINDICATED!

2007-11-04T21:49:00.000-06:00

Church ROCKED today and that's not something I normally say! Actually that may be the first time I've ever said that. As you know last Sunday Billy ran over my poor pinky toe and between Billy and my Mom I have NOT been feeling the love. Yes they will bring me stuff when I ask, but I've finished up the yard work and even power-washed the drive way and stone by Wed to make it all pretty for Halloween. I've gotten more compassion from strangers than my own family. Granted I was walking around with a fake cane when I got it, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do!

Anyway, today I didn't even have my fake cane (although I did think about it) but I was vindicated! Everyone was fawning over me and giving Billy a hard time. My Mom was in Houston so she wasn't there to stand up for Billy and I got to tell everyone who asked, and a few who didn't, that Billy broke my toe. One lady even went and found a guy in the ward that is a podiatrist so he could look me over. It feels better but the bruising has spread and it does look pretty nasty. I have to admit that my limping may have gotten a bit worse, teehee, because I was on my feet for so long what with walking the 5 feet from one room to the next ;) I think the lessons were pretty good too!

Layers Threatened to Sue ME!!!

2007-11-02T18:51:00.000-05:00

Long story not as long...As you all know I'm a Layers Clothing Stylist and Laurie has let me put their clothes on http://www.executivehomemaker.com/ to help me build my business. Layers saw it and the President sent me an email to my Layers account on Monday, which I didn't check, so she sent me another email to my gmail account on Tuesday, which I did check but didn't respond to that day, so on Wed (HALLOWEEN) this is the email I got:

You need to contact me immediately regarding your website executivehomemaker.com The images on this website MUST be removed by midnight October 31, tonight. You need to contact me today regarding this or else we will have no other choice but to take the following action:

You will face termination as a Stylist and legal action with LAYERS Clothing and *** Photography if this does not happen within the deadline given. Please respond immediately.

Seriously?? Doesn't she have anything better to do than harrass me? We're giving them free advertising and they threaten us? I totally understand that we needed to ask for permission to use their stuff and I did...a year ago, which they said they didn't have a current stance on but they would get back to me. The person I signed up under had her own website and was at the time one of the top stylists so Laurie and I didn't think there would be a problem. Plus Layers didn't, until yesterday, give stylists commissions on online sales. Excuse ME for trying to be apart of this century.

There are several other factors but I don't want to bore everyone. Laurie and I wrote back Halloween night and apologised for the copyright infringement and asked VERY NICELY what we needed to do to get consent along with what's in it for them to continue and she responded that we would not be given consent...ever.

I have not been impressed with the way they run their business and this is the straw that is breaking this camels back! I'm mad now that I was so nice just to get a few sentences back of no way, no how, not even a thanks but no thanks. It's maddening that they can come out with their line on Oct 1st but they didn't have all their clothes in stock, as a stylist I didn't have ANY clothing as samples and the catalog didn't become available until 2 weeks later. BUT heaven forbid if you make your own catalog or clothing tags using their pictures. Then you become a THIEF!Lets not mention their customer services, which has gotten TONS better, but still isn't what it should be. I could go on and on but if they read this I fear another threatening email ;)

It just blows my mind how they expect you to build their business if they don't give their employees the tools, but if you do it on your own they FREAK OUT! They gave me 3 days before they threatened to SUE ME! Like I'm sitting by the computer on pins and needles waiting to jump when they say. Needless to say I'm severing ties with Layers and I'm getting rid of my inventory. I'm having a Kiss My Ass Layers Sale! 20% OFF discount on what I've got and I JUST bought the new fall line samples so I've got some good stuff. I was going to post the picture of the shirts for you, but then I'd be sued. Contact me at mytrainerlisa@gmail.com if you want what I've got :)

I was going to post it here but it's too long so email me your size and I'll send you a list of what I've got and maybe when it gets shorter I'll post it. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE buy my stuff so I can move on to bigger and nicer :) BTW if anyone has any good part time business ideas let me know. I've got lots of free time...maybe I'll finally pop out a kid...NAH!

I Spoke Too Soon

2007-10-28T22:31:00.001-05:00

This past week I've busted my hump, my lovely lady hump, to get the yard done and I told Billy this was going to be the last weekend of yard work. I even called my Dad, aka The Big Gun, to make sure it got finished. I put in the liner and planted my ROCK'N trees!!!! They don't look even in this picture but they are.

I was planning on getting the rocks lined up and trenches dug but I just didn't have it in me. My back muscles gave out about Wed and my wrists have revolted and stopped listening to what I want them to do. Therefore, when my Dad got in it took quite a bit longer than I was expecting to cement the stones in. We only got about 3/4 of the 1st trench done. He was a huge help though because Billy and I didn't have a clue as to what we were doing. Here is what it looks like (I better not hear a single comment about it not being straight)! I am so in love with my trees. We will plant crate myrtles in January in the 'front flower bed'. Once our grass grows in the border won't be so obvious like it is now.

We went to church, came home, ate and then went back out to finish the other side. Just before, we cooked a pizza for some sustenance and I smelt gas. I asked Billy to go check it out and he said he would but then didn't move so I got up and then he got up and we raced for the stove when BAM! There was a walk and run collision. It hurt so BAD!! I told Billy he broke my toe but he didn't believe me. The pain lessened and I put on shoes and went out side. The more I worked to worse the pain got but we were so close!! We finally finished but I couldn't manage more than the bare minimum clean up before going inside. Billy wanted to see my toe to prove I was milking it and this is what we saw...

Please excuse the chipped polish and my freakishly long second toe, it's my Dads fault. It seriously hurts!! He wants to take me to the ER, sweet, but annoying because they can't do anything for broken toes and I'd rather be in bed sleeping than waiting in the ER to tell me what I already know. He feels even worse because he kept saying I was milking it...punk!! We did finish the stone work and I worked my fingers to the bone...or at least raw. My unlucky middle finger is missing a patch of skin and is tight and swollen. I think there is some cement attached to the flap of skin too. Just the other day I made a comment about how it was a miracle that no one has gotten hurt...I obviously spoke too soon. Why couldn't have been Billy?

I know it looks small, but it's like a paper cut on your cuticle...so painful! I took a hot bath and quilt tripped Billy into making dinner and bringing it to me in the tub!! I have the sweetest set up. I've got a radio with a remote control, food, drink, a book and Sudoku!! It's like Disney Land in your bathroom.

This week I've got to clean up, return all the tools our neighbors let us borrow, add sand to cover up some of the boo boos, wash my Mom's truck and then rent a power washer to make all the stone the same clean color and wash away our mess. THEN I'll be done and I can put this nightmare to bed. The rye grass is growing in nicely so hopefully the patches of dirt will be goen soon too :) How long does a broken toe take to heal? I can't prolong this...I'm so close I can taste it.

Last side note. Mom was out of town and when she got back we told her what happened and what did she say? Is Billy OK? Are you KIDDING ME??? Not anymore, mark my words!

Color Quiz Changed My Life

2007-10-26T22:25:00.000-05:00

you are mediumseagreen
#3CB371

Your dominant hues are cyan and green. Although you definately strive to be logical you care about people and know there's a time and place for thinking emotionally. Your head rules most things but your heart rules others, and getting them to meet in the middle takes a lot of your energy some days.

Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it.

Your outlook on life is brighter than most people's. You like the idea of influencing things for the better and find hope in situations where others might give up. You're not exactly a bouncy sunshine but things in your world generally look up.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

I finally make sense. I've been conflicted for so long and this quiz cleared it all up for me. I like the idea of influencing things for the better but I'm not a decisive go-getter because I don't think the world will change. THANK YOU spacefem.com for making sense of my non-sense!

Never Ending Yard Work

2007-10-23T22:12:00.000-05:00

This weekend Billy & I were back in the yard. This whole having a house thing is getting in the way of my of sleep!! Lets not even mention my bank account. In preparation for the weekend work we went to Home Depot and bought everything we needed. While we were there I saw THE coolest trees for the flower bed that we are going to build on the other side of the porch!! We got 6 of them so we'll put 3 in between each pillar.

We didn't get the side flower bed finished this weekend so I finished it today. My back feels like it's on fire but I DID IT!!! Sunday it was hotter than hades, but I woke up Monday morning to rain and freezing wind. Texas weather is bi-polar!! I had to work in long sleeves today since it was still pretty cold :( I wanted to get it done before it gets cooler but I'm sure tomorrow will be nice and sunny...I have the worst luck!

It was harder than I thought it was going to be because I had to cut the bricks and all I had was a hammer and chipper thingy so it took ALL DAY to get it done :( Tomorrow I'll put in the liner, fill it with dirt and plant the trees.

We have Bermuda grass but both our neighbors have St. Augustine so we dug ditches and are probably going to put the white brick down to keep it clean and pretty. I just have to run it by the HOA. Both of our neighbors we great about it. We were worried because our lot was empty for so long that their grass had grown on to our property quite a bit and the grass layer guys didn't fix it, shocker, but they both pointed it out and our lot seemed so much bigger once we were done. It looks good in these pictures but that's because we dug up the grass where the new flower beds were and transplanted it where we took out all of their St. Augustine. It was seriously hard work. Our neighbors all came out to comment and a few gave us better tools to work with since they felt sorry for us. I think we met more people on Saturday than we have since we've been here.

This is the 'tree bed' as Billy has dubbed it. I finished it today as well and tomorrow I'll put in the top soil so it looks better. We also put in filler dirt where our grass was lumpy and then I seeded it with Rye grass so it should look really really good in a week or two. Does any one know how long Rye takes to grow? I planted it on Sunday and I'm hoping it will grow fast so people driving by stop slowing down wondering what the hell we're doing to our yard.

It has totally sucked doing all this work but once it's done I know we'll be glad we did it. Our flowers are growing and blooming. Here is a close up of a few of the flowers.

I hope your having more fun than I am :)

BUSY BUSY BUSY

2007-10-19T10:24:00.000-05:00

I feel like a visitor on my own blog it's been so long! Last weekend Billy and I spent Sat & Sun fixing the flower bed. I'm allergic to weeds so I couldn't breathe for 3 days after and I broke out in a rash on my arms and legs where the grass touched me :( The things I do for the new house! Here is what it looked like before.

We took out all the unwanted plants and made a flower bed in the back yard. To do that we took out all the grass and transplanted it in the front yard where there was uneven grass. It was a hell of a lot harder than we were expecting and it took forever!!

In the front we moved the palm and fixed the front row of tall purple flowers. We added about $200 worth of flowers. We've got a purple & white theme going on. You can't really tell but we got these awesome flowers that are white on the outside and a deep purple inside. This was our first attempt at landscaping so if they don't all die we'll be exstatic!

In the back part we planted dwarfed monkey grass and we added the tall plants in the back that bloom white and re-arranged the small bushes around my fountain (that is currently broken) that also bloom white...at some point but who knows when, probably spring :(

We FINALLY finished at about 9 PM Sun and I took this picture. Isn't it pretty?

I got woken up Monday morning with a phone call that my sister-in-law was having her baby so I high tailed it to Houston and took care of my 2 yr old nephew until yesterday. They had a beautiful baby girl, Samantha! She was 8 lb 13 oz and 20 1/2 inches long!!!!

My SIL is doing great. Aren't they a cute family?

Jordan and I had a great time together. We had a few mishaps. We were eating popcorn together and he decided he was done and dumped it on the floor.

I got the vaccum out and he went crazy with excitement! He even started kissing it!! I was cracking up. I tried to get a picture but by the time I was ready he had moved on.

He's learned to say hi and blow kisses so when we went to the hospital he said hi to everyone and blew kisses. The nurses were loving it! When we were leaving there was an Indian family in the waiting room and the grandma was taken with him. She asked for a five, which he gave and then she asked for a hug. He gave it to her and she picked him up to set him in her lap and Jordan planted a big sloppy kiss right on her MOUTH!! She was surpised and laughed so Jordan laughed and did it again. I was rolling!! That kid is a kissing machine!!

My brother got me a gift card as a thank you. It's a Transformer!!!

Thank you Barry!! I had a great time and I even got to hang out with Samantha so Bonnie could get some sleep. She's adorable!

Home Decor Shopping!!

2007-10-12T00:03:00.000-05:00

Billy's out of town today and tomorrow so I went crazy with the credit card again!! It all started with my chaise lounge FINALLY arriving. I was a little panicked when it showed up like this...
But shockingly enough it wasn't damaged. It is lower to the ground than I like, but there's no way I'm going to return it and get something else with how long it took to get here. I also got my coffee table/ottoman!! Since I got those I needed to get a new rug, blanket for the couch and a few fun things to put on my new ottoman :)

Then I bought new red fabric to recover the bar stools...OK make my Mom recover the bar stools ;)

What do you think? Too much? If you don't think so wait til you see the rest of the house!

To finish the living room I finally drilled a hole in the wall behind the TV to put all the wires through. It really was hard putting a big hole in my pretty new walls and even harder to get the wires through the hole, down past the cabinets, through the back hole of the cabinets and then plugged in :(

Once I got the cable box and DVD player all set up I called my builder about putting on the doors that were delivered last week and he was like...can't you do it yourself? I hadn't ever put on doors and it made me wicked nervous since they were glass doors, but it turns out that it was really easy. I'm turning into a real do-it-yourselfer. Now it looks so pretty!

Since I had the living room finished I started in on the dining room! I think I went way over board, but I couldn't help myself!! I found this awesome red circle mirror, red place mats and napkins, a table runner and a fun 3 tier thingy. Laurie said if I take away the red table runner it won't be so...WOW THAT'S RED! I really did try to bring some brown in but I couldn't find anything that worked. I'm totally going crazy with the red aren't I? Everything seems like such a good idea at the store and then you get home and...oh well :)

My bedroom and bathroom didn't coordinate at all I just used what I'd had forever. So while I was shopping I got a new red duvet cover with brown sheets. I need to return the red pillowcases because they were too big but there will be red pillows as well.

In the bathroom I got red towels with the cream accent towels and bath mats. I was fairly giddy at this point of the shopping and decided what the hell I might as well make the guest bathroom match the guest bedroom as well!!

The bathroom used to be purple, but now it's blue and brown. I love, love, love these towels! They are reversible - blue on one side and brown on the other. Who's your daddy! Then I got a new bath mat and shower curtain. Heaven, I'm in HEAVEN!

With all the fun decorating my Mom was inspired and also painted the piece of tin that I got to be the head board for my quest bed. I stole this idea from Rochelle. Thanks! This is what I started with.

Then Laurie and I sanded it (a long time ago) and primed it. Then my Mom painted it blue and then antiqued it with brown. It looks so good in person. I am going to frame it and then attach it to the wall. I'll post pictures when I'm done.
I also finally got a hold of my builder about the landscaping and I told him that if I didn't have to pay the $400 for rent then I'd redo my landscaping myself. He said yes so this weekend I'll redo the flower bed and hopefully it will look good enough to post pictures. I've had so much fun decorating...I just hope I haven't completely embarrassed myself if it's tacky as hell ;)

Weekend Get Away

2007-10-09T23:06:00.000-05:00

I spent the weekend in Ashville, North Carolina attending a wedding. One of my husbands best friends from high school got married and they lived in Houston for a year and the 4 of us got to know each other. My husband and his twin brother (Billy & Tony) grew up with the Groom and he made it to both of their weddings so we made sure we all went. Here is a picture of 'The Guys'.

Ashville is a beautiful city! They got married in a little church in the middle of no where. Here are Billy & I...

And Tony & Kelli with their youngest.

The reception was fun but a little awkward. His friends from high school know how to party and got right to it. No one keeps in touch except for weddings and reunions so after the 'catch up' talk is over conversation kind of stalls and in comes the alcohol. Billy & Tony converted to Mormonism when they were 19 so all their friends drink...a lot! Which I don't have a problem with, but they have a problem with us not drinking. They get drunk and then are self conscious of our not drinking...aka judging. If I'm honest we totally are judging. Judging how many they have, who gets clumsy, who makes the biggest ass out of themselves and who's most likely to not remember anything in the morning. I learned all sorts of new things about their friends that night. The drunker Mike gets the more he spits. WATCH OUT!! The quiet one gets verrry frisky when intoxicated and Ryan does a combo dance of the retarded chicken and lord of the dance.

Mean while the four of us Mormon's sit at the table and make fun of everyone else. They tried a few times to get us to 'loosen up'. Like a little awkward tension is going to get us all to start drinking. Here is a picture of Billy & Tony all stiff on water.

And here they are on coke. Light weights I tell you!!!

We did have a fun time and we're glad we all went. We tried to do some fun touristy stuff but the little one is allergic to her car seat so we pretty much stayed in the hotel for fear of our ear drums bursting.

Layer's Fall Line and Anniversary Sale!!!!!

2007-10-04T10:59:00.000-05:00

Here are some pictures of Layer's Fall Line!
Layers is getting better and better with each season, with not only their Clothes but their Customer Service. This season they have 16 Shirts that go from Comfy Casual... to Out On the Town with Detailed Sophistication ;) The Summer Dresses were such a fit that they have come back with 5 Fall Styles!

Layers has been listening (finally) and have out with BODY SLIMMING SLIPS!! The top is meant to be seen and comes in a Classic or Wide Strap Cami!!!!!

Lastly, they have also come out with a YOGA PANT.

Check out all they have to offer at Executive Homemaker and place your order today! To add some incentive they are having an Anniversary Sale where EVERYTHING is 20% OFF!!!! Everything includes new fall styles and clearance items until Oct 15th. EH is up to date on colors and sizes that are available and to get the discount enter the code - EH102007, but if you forget I'll make sure you get it anyway when I place the order :) Now lets see all that money, money money (my new song of the week)!!

Thank you for your business and support!! If you have any questions you can email me mytrainerlisa@gmail.com.

Dallas Quicky

2007-10-03T13:51:00.000-05:00

Layer's Fall Line has come out so I made the trek to visit Laurie so we could update Executive Homemaker, make a new slide show and clothing tags.

I was out shopping the other day and saw this apron and had to get it for Laurie!!
I had Billy model it for me first :)

Laurie informed me it was her return day, but for my benefit made it an Adult Return Day (ARD). Here she is with the BAGS of stuff to return :( I really do have the worst timing.

ARD included a trip to QT where I got a drink and a treat. This was actually just an excuse to use her $5 gift card that she's had for a year, but I'm not picky.

She also had a gift card to Beauty Brands where she bought me a new lip stick. She's always looking out for me. In the past she would have just told me I needed a new one, but now she knows better than to leave it up to me. We hit several stores and then I was rewarded for good behavior with Pei Wei for lunch!!

For a return day it was a great day. When we got back we got busy with Layers stuff. Laurie makes these rock'n clothing tags that you cut out and laminate to go on the hangars. I got a screen shot of a couple so you can see how awesome they are!

We updated Executive Homemaker with THE NEW FALL LINE!!!! Feel free to stop by and place an order so all of Laurie's hard isn't in vain...did that guilt trip work? She also made a new slide show. Pimp huh? AND a new footer for our blogs! There's nothing she can't do on publisher!!!
I've been getting orders all week and I can't tell you how much I appreciate the support!!

AZ Friends & Family

2007-10-02T01:07:00.000-05:00

I was able to see some of my friends while I was in town and it was fan-freaking-tastic!!!

First I saw Paula, who is my sister-in-laws aunt, and became one of my personal training clients. We had the best talks when we hung out. I don't know what it was, but it was just easy to talk to her about anything. She isn't the most coordinate person and you know I'm mean, but she's a good sport and put up with me. Sometime I made her do things I knew would be hard just so we could laugh. She hates the stability ball ;) We caught up and she just adopted a little boy so her life has changed drastically since I last saw her. I miss our talks so it was great to be able to see her.

Next I had dinner with Jamie. She is one of my favorite people!! I would go over to work her out and she's so damn great that we would spend the hour just chatting and having a great time. Good thing she was already skinny or I would have felt bad about it.

She thinks she has bigger muscles than I do, but she doesn't mine are just harder to see under the flab.

During the summer while her 4 kids were home I would work them all out. It was the cutest thing you've ever seen. She's got some seriously competitive kids so they always had to do as much or more or faster. Here are 2 of the 4. The youngest, Kate, is taking the picture and the oldest was anti-picture that night.

Kate is my favorite. She was at every training session and worked me out more than I worked out her Mom! She was so excited when I came and always colored a picture for me. Here she is going crazy. That's a dog that's her friend drew on her forehead :)

I stopped by Marie's house right as the kiddos were going to bed. She was in my ward and I was her VT. I liked her so much that after she had her youngest I would take the 2 girls out once a week so she would have to like me and a few months later she signed up for training too. She has a 6 yr old, twin 4 yr old and a little guy.

Marie is the type of person I want to be when I grow up. She's an amazing Mom, very patient wife and a smart, fun creative women. I adore her kids and the crazy things they come up with. She's the type of person that listen to what you're saying and gives advice when you want it and sympathized when you need it. It was great to see her again, like a breath of fresh air.

That night I stayed with Kim. We met in the singles ward in Houston. We reminisced about the crazy days in the ward and laughed about her dating mishaps. She the person who I can say anything to and doesn't judge. We can pick up where we left off like we haven't missed a day. I probably feel the most comfortable with her because we have shared the good, bad and ugly with each other.

The next day Kim and I had a lazy day of food and shopping before I picked up Billy at the airport. That night we met up with his family at a restaurant where we surprised his Mom for her 60th birthday. They made a shirt with a caricature of his Mom and 'mom-isms' on the back. We all wore them along with goofy glasses because his Mom used to wear to be funny. She was shocked and touched that all 6 of her kids made the trip. We gave her a ring with all the birth stones, a spa day and professional pictures that we took the next day.

After dinner we got a Marzetta family shot. There are 6 kids, 5 spouses and 11 grand kids.

The next day the guys went golfing and the girls went to the spa. I got a mani & pedi which was a nice treat. The half took the kids to the pool and the rest of us hung out in the hotel room chatting. I didn't swim but I should have because his Mom starting in with debating politics which never ends well. Lucky there was no blood shed but it was touch and go a few times. That night we all dressed in brown, tan or white for the family photos. Here is my MIL and FIL with their 6 kids. I cut off Wende and Madelyn is hiding behind Jackie.

We all took pictures together and then separated into families. We ended with dinner where someone got stabbed with a fork, a baby got beer spilled on them, two 2 yr olds collided head to head and another kid got poked in the eye. All in all it was an eventful weekend that I'm glad was kept short!

I LOVE AZ!!!!

2007-10-01T12:23:00.000-05:00

I got back in town last night! It was a grueling day of traveling for us. Going to AZ is nice because of the time change you can leave at 10 and get in at 11, but coming back to Texas takes your whole day!! We almost missed out 10 AM flight, they had to call us over the intercom because we had checked in but we got caught in security so we had to run the rest of the way with our shoes and belts in our hands...NICE! We got into Houston at 3:30, because it was raining so we had to go around in circles for a while. Our connecting flight was leaving at 3:40 (we had to go from Terminal E to Terminal A and it is as far away as it sounds)! There we were running again, but it wasn't a short jog. We were full out running and we had to go down stairs and up stairs, dodge people and a cart (close call, those drivers will run you over!!). We even had to get on a shuttle for the last leg and that driver went 15 MPH the whole way. Everyone on the shuttle was late and he almost had a revolt on his hands. We did actually just make it, but then we had to sit on the runway for 30 minutes (the flight is 20) so we didn't get home until 5 PM!! We were tired and cranky and my Mom made me give her all the nitty gritty so I just couldn't make myself blog. I'm sorry.

My trip there was much better with the exception of the rental car place. I had to wait in line for an hour and then the guy said I would get a Hyundai Accent, but when I got down there the lady who didn't speak English gave me a Minivan. I'm not kidding. I tried to tell her, but she showed me the paper work and sure enough it said minivan. I was hot! That little shit lied to my face! I would have gone back up there but I had 15 minutes to drive 30 minutes to the blogger lunch! So me, myself and I jumped into the van and was off! I will say that vans have some get-up-and-go! I drove like a bat out of hell and was the first one there!! We ate at Barros so the kiddos would have a place play and the pizza is wicked good! By this time my allergies had cleared up...I love AZ!! I met Crazy Mama first and I have to say she is what she portrays on her blog. Fun, loud, real, bold, honest and crazy :) She's taller than I expected. How tall are you Crazy Julie? I'm guessing 6' 2"? She thinks I have a slight accent, but I was actually born in AZ and grew up in TX so I'm not sure where I get it. Do I sound like a Texan? I do have a pretty good fake accent that I could have done for you :) I'm quieter than she was expecting too, but I'm not really loud just sarcastic. I'm a go with the flow make fun of people along the way kind of person.

I met Lindsey next and she is fantastic too! She's creative, sweet and quite, but maybe that's just in comparison to Crazy Mama :) Her little boy was like Houdini...one minute he's there and the next he's gone. It was pretty funny for me, but not so much for her :( Then I met OneHM and her two cute boys. She's just like I thought she would be too. Easy going, genuine and fun. It was so great to meet everyone and we talked about everything thing from blogging to family to books, which OneHM claims she doesn't read because she she gets lost in them and neglects her family. I thought that was the point of reading? A little me time where I don't have to worry about the Hubby, but whether or not Jamie is going to flog Claire for her latest mis-adventure :)

We didn't have anyone to take our picture so OneHM taught her oldest how to do it. It was too cute. This is what I got...just like a MAN, already paying more attention to our legs than our faces :)

I was a little disappointed that Little Jill didn't make it. I know she is just moving into her fabulously re-modeled home and apparently forget in the midst of unpacking. Sooo I'm apparently forgettable. Shame on you Little Jill!

This post is getting way too long so I'll post again tonight about the rest of my weekend with my fun friends and my crazy in-laws. Thanks again ladies for meeting up with me...it was so great to meet you in person!!